ather than to run the risk of offending a lady who may
like to see visitors.

A card is usually left with a first invitation to a stranger who has
brought a letter of introduction, but it is more polite--even though not
necessary--to ask to be received. Some ladies make it a habit to leave a
card on everyone on their visiting list once a season.

It is correct for the mother of a debutante to leave her card as well as
her daughter's on every lady who has invited the daughter to her house,
and a courteous hostess returns all of these pasteboard visits. But
neither visit necessitates closer or even further acquaintance.

=VISITS WHICH EVERYONE MUST PAY=

Paying visits differs from leaving cards in that you must ask to be
received. A visit of condolence should be paid at once to a friend when a
death occurs in her immediate family. A lady does not call on a gentleman,
but writes him a note of sympathy.

In going to inquire for sick people, you should ask to be received, and it
is always thoughtful to take them gifts of books or fruit or flowers.

If a relative announces his engagement, you must at once go to see his
fiancee. Should she be out, you do not ask to see her mother. You do,
however, leave a card upon both ladies and you ask to see her mother if
received by the daughter.

A visit of congratulation is also paid to a new mother and a gift
invariably presented to the baby.

=MESSAGES WRITTEN ON CARDS=

"With sympathy" or "With deepest sympathy" is written on your visiting
card with flowers sent to a funeral. This same message is written on a
card and left at the door of a house of mourning, if you do not know the
family well enough to ask to be received.

"To inquire" is often written on a card left at the house of a sick
person, but not if you are received.

In going to see a friend who is visiting a lady whom you do not know,
whether you should leave a card on the hostess as well as on your friend
depends upon the circumstances: if the hostess is one who is socially
prominent and you are unknown, it would be better taste not to leave a
card on her, since your card afterward found without explanation might be
interpreted as an uncalled-for visit made in an attempt for a place on her
list. If, on the other hand, she is the unknown person and you are the
prominent one, your card is polite, but unwise unless you mean to include
her name on your list. But if she is one with whom you have many interests