surface found,[774] sir:
Himself he would have far outshone,
And borne a wider sway, sir,
Had he our modern secret known,
And drank a bottle a day, sir!

"When Ptolemy,[775] now long ago,
Believed the earth stood still, sir,
He never would have blundered so,
Had he but drunk his fill, sir:
He'd then have felt[776] it circulate,
And would have learnt to say, sir,
The true way to investigate
Is to drink your bottle a day, sir!

"Copernicus,[777] that learned wight,
The glory of his nation,
With draughts of wine refreshed his sight,
And saw the earth's rotation;
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Each planet then its orb described,
The moon got under way, sir;
These truths from nature he imbibed
For he drank his bottle a day, sir!

"The noble[778] Tycho placed the stars,
Each in its due location;
He lost his nose[779] by spite of Mars,
But that was no privation:
Had he but lost his mouth, I grant
He would have felt dismay, sir,
Bless you! _he_ knew what he should want
To drink his bottle a day, sir!

"Cold water makes no lucky hits;
On mysteries the head runs:
Small drink let Kepler[780] time his wits
On the regular polyhedrons:
He took to wine, and it changed the chime,
His genius swept away, sir,
Through area varying[781] as the time
At the rate of a bottle a day, sir!

"Poor Galileo,[782] forced to rat
Before the Inquisition,
_E pur si muove_[783] was the pat
He gave them in addition:
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He meant, whate'er you think you prove,
The earth must go its way, sirs;
Spite of your teeth I'll make it move,
For I'll drink my bottle a day, sirs!

"Great Newton, who was never beat
Whatever fools may think, sir;
Though sometimes he forgot to eat,
He never forgot to drink, sir:
Descartes[784] took nought but lemonade,
To conquer him was play, sir;
The first advance that Newton made
Was to drink his bottle a day, sir!

"D'Alembert,[785] Euler,[786] and Clairaut,[787]
Though they increased our store, sir,
Much further had been seen to go
Had they tippled a little more, sir!
Lagrange[788] gets mellow with Laplace,[789]
And both are wont to say, sir,
The _philosophe_ who's not an ass
Will drink his bottle a day, sir!

"Astronomers! what can avail
Those who calumniate us;
Experiment can never fail
With such an apparatus:
Let him who'd have