ar the bed No. 12.--"Why, noble
woman, expose yourself to the bad air which is so prevalent here? Is
your fate then so dreary that you long for death?"--"No, Mr. Bendel;
since I have dreamt out my long dreams, and my inner self was awakened,
all is well--death is the object of neither my hopes nor my fears. Since
then, I think calmly of the past and of the future. And you--do you not
yet serve your master and friend in this godlike manner, with sweet and
silent satisfaction?"--"Yes, noble woman--God be praised! Ours has been
a marvellous destiny. From our full cup we have thoughtlessly drunk much
joy and much bitter sorrow: 'tis empty now. Hitherto we have had only a
trial; now, with prudent solicitude, we wait for the real introduction to
substantial things. Far different is the true beginning; but who would
play over again the early game of life, though it is a blessing, on the
whole, to have lived? I am supported by the conviction that our old
friend is better provided for now than then."--"I feel it too," answered
the lovely widow, and they left me.
This conversation had produced a deep impression within me; but I doubted
in my mind if I should discover myself, or set out unknown from the
place. I decided, however; I ordered paper and pencil to be brought to
me, and wrote these words:--
"Your old friend too is better provided for than formerly, and if he do
penance it is the penance of reconciliation."
On this, finding myself better, I desired to dress myself. The keys were
deposited on the little trunk which stood close to my bed. I found in it
everything that belonged to me: I put on my clothes; and hung over my
black coat my botanical case, where I found again, with transport, my
northern plants. I drew on my boots, laid the note which I had written
on my bed, and when the door opened, was far on my way towards Thebes.
A long time ago, as I was tracing back my way homewards along the Syrian
coast, the last time I had wandered from my dwelling, I saw my poor
Figaro approaching me. This charming spaniel seemed to wish to follow
the steps of his master, for whom he must have so long waited. I stood
still and called him to me. He sprang barking towards me, with a
thousand expressions of his innocent and extravagant joy. I took him
under my arm, for, in truth, he could not follow me, and brought him with
me safely home.
I found everything thus in order, and returned again, as my strength
retu
|