secutively, but ascertained that
neither would open her lips, at least in the presence of mamma. At
last I found a vacant place by the side of Mrs. Plumridge, and
discovered immediately, with the peculiar freemasonry which I believe
men do not possess, that she was _one of my sort_. She liked walking,
riding, driving, dancing--all that I liked, in short; and she hated
scandal-gossiping, _sensible_ women, morning visits, and worsted-work,
for all of which I confess to an unqualified aversion. We were getting
fast friends when the gentlemen came in from their wine, honest Sir
Brian's voice sounding long before he entered the room, and the worthy
gentleman himself rolling in with an unsteady step, partly from
incipient gout, and partly, I fancy, from a good deal of port wine. He
took a vacant seat by me almost immediately, chiefly, I think, because
it was the nearest seat; and avowing openly his great regard and
admiration for my neighbour, Mrs. Plumridge, proceeded to make himself
agreeable to both of us in his own way--though I am concerned to state
that he trod heavily on my _sprained_ foot, and spilt the greater part
of a cup of coffee over _her_ satin gown. The Squire, whose nerves for
the present were strung above blushing pitch, soon joined our little
party; and whilst the two Miss Bannerets performed an endless duet on
Aunt Horsingham's luckless pianoforte, and their brother, choking in
his stiff white neckcloth, turned over the leaves, Sir Brian bantered
Mr. Haycock gracefully on his abstemiousness after dinner, an effort
of self-denial of which no one could accuse him, and vowed, with much
laughter, that "Haycock must be in love! in love, Miss Coventry, don't
you think so? A man that always used to take his two bottles as
regularly as myself--I am a foe to excess, ladies, but Haycock's an
anchorite, d---- me--a monk! Haycock! monks mustn't marry, you
know!--wouldn't he look well with his feet shaved, Miss Coventry, and
his head bare and a rope round his neck?" Sir Brian was getting
confused, and had slightly transposed the clerical costume to which he
alluded; but was quite satisfied that his little badinage was witty
and amusing in the extreme. Indeed, Mrs. Plumridge and I couldn't help
laughing; but poor Squire Haycock's embarrassment was so intense that
he ordered his carriage immediately, and took leave, venturing,
however, at the very last, to shake me by the hand, and braving once
again the banter of the ine