ng George,
send for you, and offer to make you a Prime Minister, take an old man's
advice, and respectfully decline the honour. Say that standing at the
helm of one of his ships, and fighting her as long as there is a shot in
the locker, is one thing, and standing at the helm of State, and being
badgered by friends and foes alike, is another. You may quote me as an
authority. Well, I was telling you how I managed when I was Prime
Minister to King Rumfiz, and of the trouble caused me by certain
personages in the island of Blarney Botherum.

"I was not long in discovering the tricks of these medicine men, and of
their friends who lived on a trade they called patriotism, but the
difficulty was to catch them. I at last, however, found a few tripping,
and having hung them up, the rest were very soon brought into a state of
implicit obedience to my commands.

"As soon as I had restored peace to the country, I thought that it would
be advisable to reform the constitution. I had some slight difficulty
in comprehending its principles, especially as I only as yet imperfectly
understood the language. My notions were, however, so opposed by the
sages of the country, and so great was the commotion created, that it
was with no slight satisfaction I saw the Lady Stiggins approaching the
island under full sail, as I was one morning sitting on the beach
cutting ducks and drakes with oyster shells over the calm blue water of
the bay.

"I have a good strong voice of my own even now, but then I could make
myself heard three or four miles off at least, and sometimes, when I was
in tone, much farther. The only other man I ever met at all equal to me
was a Frenchman, the master of a privateer; and we once carried on a
conversation together, he sitting on the shores of Calais, I on the
cliffs of Dover. Well, I stood up, and hailing the Lady Stiggins, waved
my hat over my head. My former shipmates heard me, though for a long
time they could not tell where the voice came from. Another old friend,
however, was more quick of hearing, and sight too. I saw a commotion in
the water, as if an arrow was passing through it, so fast did it draw
near. Presently a black fin appeared, and then there was a tremendous
rush, and then who should pop his head out of the water till he ran
himself almost high and dry on the beach, but my pet shark? In his
delight at seeing me he almost got hold of my leg, which, in a fit of
joyful forgetfulness, I