e you trying to sell me something?"

"Me?" says I. "Gosh, no! I hadn't quite got to that part, but my idea
is to give you a chance to unload something on us. This Apache Creek
land of yours."

"Really," says Waldo, "I don't follow you at all. My land?"

"Sure!" says I. "All this shaded pink. That's yours, you know. And
as it lays now it's about as useful as an observation car in the
subway. But if you'll swap it for preferred stock in our power
company--"

"No," says he, crisp and snappy. "I owned some mining stock once, and
it was a fearful nuisance. Every few months they wanted me to pay
something on it, until I finally had to burn the stuff up."

"That's one way of gettin' rid of bum shares," says I. "But look; this
is no flimflam gold mine. This is sure-fire shookum--a sound business
proposition backed by one of the--"

"Pardon me," says T. Waldo, glarin' annoyed through the big panes, "but
I don't care to have shares in anything."

"Oh, very well," says I. "We'll settle on a cash basis, then. Now,
you've got no use for that tract. We have. Course, we can get other
land just as good, but yours is the handiest. If you've ever tried to
wish it onto anyone, you know you couldn't get a dollar an acre. We'll
give you five."

"Please go away," says he.

"Make it six," says I. "Now, that tract measures up about--"

"Tidman," cuts in Mr. Pettigrew, "could you manage to make this young
man understand that I don't care to be bothered with such rot?"

Tidman didn't have a chance.

"Excuse me," says I, flashin' Old Hickory's ten thousand dollar check,
"but if there's anything overripe about that, just let me know. That's
real money, that is. If you want it certified I'll--"

"Stop," says T. Waldo, holdin' up his hand like I was the cross-town
traffic. "You must not go on with this silly business chatter. I am
not in the least interested. Besides, you are interrupting my tutoring
period."

"Your which?" says I, gawpin'.

"Mr. Tidman," he goes on, "is my private tutor. He helps me to study
from ten to two every day."

"Gee!" says I. "Ain't you a little late gettin' into college?"

Waldo sighs weary.

"If I must explain," says he, "I prefer to continue improving my mind
rather than idle away my days. I've never been to college or to any
sort of school. I've been tutored at home ever since I can remember.
I did give it up for a time shortly after the death of my father. I
thought