e fatal.

"No, my dear, you cannot dispose of that ticket," said his wife, "and I
take it as very unkind in you to speak to Aunt in that manner. It is not
because she is poor, and dependent upon us, that she is to be sneered at
and ill-treated." At this speech the Drag burst into tears, and declared
that she always knew that Mr. Porkington hated her; that she might be
poor and old and ugly, etc., etc., but she little expected to be called
so by him; that she would not go to the ball now, if he implored her on
his knees, and so on, and so on.

Now, who could have thought it? All this fuss was occasioned by Mr. P.
having meanly backed out of giving Mrs. P. a new dress in which to
electrify the fashionable world at Babbicombe. Ah me! Let us hope that
in some far distant planet there may be some better world where all
unfortunate creatures,--dogs which have had tin kettles tied to their
tails,--cockchafers which have been spun upon pins,--poor men who have
been over-crawed by wives, aunts, mothers-in-law, and other
terrors,--donkeys which have been undeservedly belaboured by
costermongers,--and authors who have been meritoriously abused by
critics,--rest together in peace in a sort of happy family.

At this point Barton, Glenville, Thornton, and I all entered the room.

"Oh, I am so glad to see the ladies are ready," said Thornton. "This
will be our last ball, and we ought to make a happy evening of it. Are
you not sorry we are coming to the end of our gaieties, Miss Candlish?"

"Sorry!" exclaimed the Drag, ferociously. "Sorry! I never was more
pleased--pleased--pleased!" Every time she repeated the word "pleased"
she launched it at the head of the unfortunate tutor, as if she hoped her
words would turn into brickbats ere they reached him.

"I am glad to see you are going, however," said Glenville.

"There you are mistaken," said the Aunt, "for Mr. Porkington has been so
very kind as to say he had rather I did not go."

"Really, really," cried Porkington, "I can assure you it is quite the
reverse. I am so misunderstood that really I am sure I can't tell--"

"Oh, pray do not disappoint us in our last evening together, Miss
Candlish," said Glenville, coming to the rescue of the unfortunate tutor,
and speaking in his most fascinating manner, "I have hoped for the
pleasure of a quadrille and lancers and" (with an effort) "a waltz with
you this evening if you will allow me."

The Drag became calm, and after