here, at her elbow, lay the four
fatal envelopes; and her next affair was to make up her mind what to do
with them.
To destroy them on the spot had seemed, at first thought, inevitable: it
might be saving Ellie as well as herself. But such a step seemed to Susy
to involve departure on the morrow, and this in turn involved notifying
Ellie, whose letter she had vainly scanned for an address. Well--perhaps
Clarissa's nurse would know where one could write to her mother; it was
unlikely that even Ellie would go off without assuring some means of
communication with her child. At any rate, there was nothing to be done
that night: nothing but to work out the details of their flight on the
morrow, and rack her brains to find a substitute for the hospitality
they were rejecting. Susy did not disguise from herself how much she had
counted on the Vanderlyn apartment for the summer: to be able to do
so had singularly simplified the future. She knew Ellie's largeness of
hand, and had been sure in advance that as long as they were her guests
their only expense would be an occasional present to the servants. And
what would the alternative be? She and Lansing, in their endless talks,
had so lived themselves into the vision of indolent summer days on the
lagoon, of flaming hours on the beach of the Lido, and evenings of music
and dreams on their broad balcony above the Giudecca, that the idea of
having to renounce these joys, and deprive her Nick of them, filled Susy
with a wrath intensified by his having confided in her that when they
were quietly settled in Venice he "meant to write." Already nascent in
her breast was the fierce resolve of the author's wife to defend her
husband's privacy and facilitate his encounters with the Muse. It was
abominable, simply abominable, that Ellie Vanderlyn should have drawn
her into such a trap!
Well--there was nothing for it but to make a clean breast of the whole
thing to Nick. The trivial incident of the cigars-how trivial it now
seemed!--showed her the kind of stand he would take, and communicated to
her something of his own uncompromising energy. She would tell him the
whole story in the morning, and try to find a way out with him: Susy's
faith in her power of finding a way out was inexhaustible. But suddenly
she remembered the adjuration at the end of Mrs. Vanderlyn's letter: "If
you're ever owed me anything in the way of kindness, you won't, on your
sacred honour, say a word to Nick...."
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