s
of the History to-day, notwithstanding the agitation of my feelings.

_May_ 15.--Attended the Court, where Mr. Rolland and I had the duty of
the First Division; Sir Robert and Hamilton being both laid up. Dined at
Granton and met Lord and Lady Dalhousie, Sir John Hope, etc. I have
spelled out some work this day, though I have been rather knocked about.

_May_ 16.--After the Court this day I went to vote at the Archers' Hall,
where some of the members had become restive. They were outvoted two to
one. There had been no division in the Royal Body Guard since its
commencement, but these times make divisions everywhere. A letter from
Lockhart brings better news of Walter, but my heart is heavy on the
subject. I went on with my History, however, for the point in this
world is to do what we ought, and bear what we must.

Dined at home and wrote in the evening.

_May_ 17.--I never stirred from my seat all this day. My reflections, as
suggested by Walter's illness, were highly uncomfortable; and to divert
it I wrought the whole day, save when I was obliged to stop and lean my
head on my hand. Real affliction, however, has something in it by which
it is sanctified. It is a weight which, however oppressive, may like a
bar of iron be conveniently disposed on the sufferer's person. But the
insubstantiality of a hypochondriac affection is one of its greatest
torments. You have a huge featherbed on your shoulders, which rather
encumbers and oppresses you than calls forth strength and exertion to
bear it. There is something like madness in that opinion, and yet it has
a touch of reality. Heaven help me!

_May_ 18.--I resolved to take exercise to-day, so only wrought till
twelve. I sent off some sheets and copy to Dr. Lardner. I find my
written page goes as better than one to two of his print, so a little
more than one hundred and ninety of my writing will make up the sum
wanted. I sent him off as far as page sixty-two. Went to Mr. Colvin
Smith's at one, and sat for my picture to three. There must be an end of
this sitting. It devours my time.

I wrote in the evening to Walter, James MacCulloch, to Dr. Lardner, and
others, and settled some other correspondence.

_May_ 19.--I went to the Court, and abode there till about one, and in
the Library from one to two, when I was forced to attend a public
meeting about the King's statue. I have no turn for these committees,
and yet I get always jamm'd into them. They take up a cruel de