e wrong:--you shou'd have paid your
court till my lord, and not have scrupled swallowing a bumper or twa, or
twenty, till oblige him.

_Eger_. Sir, I did drink his toast in a bumper.

_Sir Per_. Yes--you did;--but how? how?--just as a bairn takes physic--
with aversions and wry faces, which my lord observed: then, to mend the
matter, the moment that he and the colonel got intill a drunken dispute
about religion, you slily slunged away.

_Eger_. I thought, sir, it was time to go, when my lord insisted upon half
pint bumpers.

_Sir Per_. Sir, that was not levelled at you, but at the colonel, in order
to try his bottom; but they aw agreed that you and I should drink out of
smaw glasses.

_Eger_. But, sir, I beg pardon:--I did not choose to drink any more.

_Sir Per_. But zoons! sir, I tell you there was a necessity for your
drinking more.

_Eger_. A necessity! in what respect, pray, sir?

_Sir Per_. Why, sir, I have a certain point to carry, independent of the
lawyers, with my lord, in this agreement of your marriage--about which I
am afraid we shall have a warm squabble--and therefore I wanted your
assistance in it.

_Eger_. But how, sir, could my drinking contribute to assist you in your
squabble?

_Sir Per_. Yes, sir, it would have contributed--and greatly have
contributed to assist me.

_Eger_. How so, sir?

_Sir Per_. Nay, sir, it might have prevented the squabble entirely; for as
my lord is proud of you for a son-in-law, and is fond of your little
French songs, your stories, and your bon-mots, when you are in the
humour,--and guin you had but staid--and been a little jolly--and drank
half a score bumpers with him, till he got a little tipsy--I am sure, when
we had him in that mood, we might have settled the point as I could wish
it, among ourselves, before the lawyers came: but now, sir, I do not ken
what will be the consequence.

_Eger_. But when a man is intoxicated, would that have been a seasonable
time to settle business, sir?

_Sir Per_. The most seasonable, sir:--for, sir, when my lord is in his
cups--his suspicion is asleep--and his heart is aw jollity, fun, and guid
fellowship; and sir, can there be a happier moment than that for a
bargain, or to settle a dispute with a friend? What is it you shrug up
your shoulders at, sir?

_Eger_. At my own ignorance, sir;--for I understand neither the philosophy
nor the morality of your doctrine.

_Sir Per_. I know you do not, sir,--and, what is wor