ast I
told her that I thought we had had talk enough about the floor, we would
now have a touch at the ceiling.' I asked him if he ever huffed his wife
about his dinner. 'So often,' replied he, 'that at last she called to me
and said, "Nay, hold, Mr. Johnson, and do not make a farce of thanking
God for a dinner which in a few minutes you will protest not eatable."'"

A YOUNG LADY'S "NEEDS"
[Sidenote: _Samuel Johnson_]

"During a visit of Miss Brown's to Streatham, Dr. Johnson was inquiring
of her several things that she could not answer; and, as he held her so
cheap in regard to books, he began to question her concerning domestic
affairs,--puddings, pies, plain work, and so forth. Miss Brown, not at
all more able to give a good account of herself in these articles than
in the others, began all her answers with 'Why, sir, one need not be
obliged to do so,--or so,' whatever was the thing in question. When he
had finished his interrogatories, and she had finished her 'need nots,'
he ended the discourse with saying, 'As to your needs, my dear, they are
so very many that you would be frightened yourself if you knew half of
them.'"

"IRENE"
[Sidenote: _Samuel Johnson_]

"I was told," wrote Sir Walter Scott, "that a gentleman called Pot, or
some such name, was introduced to Johnson as a particular admirer of
his. The doctor growled and took no further notice. "He admires in
especial your _Irene_ as the finest tragedy of modern times;" to which
the Doctor replied: "If Pot says so, Pot Lies!" and relapsed into his
reverie.

ODE TO PEACE
[Sidenote: _Hood_]

WRITTEN ON THE NIGHT OF MY MISTRESS'S GRAND ROUT

O Peace! oh come with me and dwell--
But stop, for there's the bell.
O peace! for thee I go and sit in churches,
On Wednesday, when there's very few
In loft or pew--
Another ring, the tarts are come from Birch's.
O Peace! for thee I have avoided marriage--
Hush! there's a carriage.
O Peace! thou art the best of earthly goods--
The five Miss Woods.
O Peace! thou art the goddess I adore--
There come some more.
O Peace! thou child of solitude and quiet--
That's Lord Drum's footman, for he loves a riot.

O Peace!--
Knocks will not cease.
O Peace! thou wert for human comfort planned--
That's Weippert's band.
O Peace! how glad I welcome thy approaches--
I hear the sound of coaches.
O Peace! O Peace!--another carriage stops--