t believe
you so altered in two months as to choose obduracy and misery, when
pardon, and in time confidence and love, are offered in their stead. Get
up from that crouching posture; it can be but mock humility, and so only
aggravates your sin."
Ellen rose slowly and painfully, and seating herself at the table some
distance from her aunt, leaned her arms upon it, and buried her face
within them. Never before and never after did half an hour appear so
interminable to either Mrs. Hamilton or Ellen. It was well for the
firmness of the former, perhaps, that she could not read the heart of
that young girl, even if the cause of its anguish had been still
concealed. Again and again did the wild longing, turning her actually
faint and sick with its agony, come over her to reveal the whole, to ask
but rest and mercy for herself, pardon and security for Edward: but
then, clear as if held before her in letters of fire, she read every
word of her brother's desperate letter, particularly "Breathe it to my
uncle or aunt--for if she knows it he will--and you will never see me
more." Her mother, pallid as death, seemed to stand before her, freezing
confession on her heart and lips, looking at her threateningly, as she
had so often seen her, as if the very thought were guilt. The rapidly
advancing twilight, the large and lonely room, all added to that fearful
illusion; and if Ellen did succeed in praying it was with desperate
fervor for strength not to betray her brother. If ever there were a
martyr spirit, it was enshrined in that young, frail form.
"Aunt Emmeline, Aunt Emmeline, speak to me but one word--only one word
of kindness before you go. I do not ask for mercy--there can be none for
such a wretch as I am; I will bear without one complaint, one murmur,
all you may inflict--you cannot be too severe. Nothing can be such agony
as the utter loss of your affection; I thought, the last two months,
that I feared you so much that it was all fear, no love: but now, now
that you know my sin, it has all, all come back to make me still more
wretched." And before Mrs. Hamilton could prevent, or was in the least
aware of her intention, Ellen had obtained possession of one of her
hands, and was covering it with kisses, while her whole frame shook with
those convulsed, but completely tearless sobs.
"Will you confess, Ellen, if I stay? Will you give me the proof that it
_is_ such agony to lose my affection, that you _do_ love me as you
pro
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