e. He went out the door without putting on his coat and
drove away without looking back.

The wind in his chest began to howl. He gripped the steering wheel
tighter. Suzanne was right. She was right. He turned south on the main
road. He was right, too, to go--before they got caught, before she was
seriously hurt. She would get over him. She had a lot going for her.

The wind howled louder. It was like a dark angel blowing through him.
He had never hit a woman before. He hadn't known he was capable of it.
The dark angel was telling the truth, blowing him down the road. He had
to set Suzanne free. She was better off without him in the long run.
She sensed that, too, although they hadn't talked about it directly.
They were a perfect match physically, and he loved her, but they were
just too different. He banged the wheel with one fist and hung on as
the angel blew harder.

Enormously harder. _Jennifer._ He had to leave her, too. Free
everybody. Oh, no! _Emma. Emma._ He hit the wheel again and shook his
head, but the angel wouldn't let him alone. "Do it now," he told
himself. "Do it now. While you can." Could he?

Yes--if he kept going. The truth kept blowing through him. He couldn't
have continued, otherwise. He bounced to a stop in front of his house,
went inside, turned on all the lights, and played _La Traviata_ at top
volume. He put his toolboxes in the Jeep and covered them with a tarp.
He dumped his clothes in piles on the back seat, shoes and boots on the
floor. He filled a cartridge box with cassettes and put it in the front
seat with the George Nakashima book. He gathered bathroom stuff
together and remembered his briefcase and the file box where he kept
his credit card information, the brokerage agreement, bank statements,
and his passport. He put these in the front of the Jeep and took
another look around the house. He added a flashlight and a picture of
Emma to the pile in front. Woof and Verdi watched uneasily.

He made a mug of black tea and sat at the kitchen table with a pen and
a pad of paper.

"Jennifer, I have to leave. I just realized it. It's better to do it
now while you're away. I don't think I could if Emma were here. I can't
give you the life you want and that you should have. It will be better
for Emma, too, in the long run. I am very sorry to cause you this pain.
You have been nothing but sweet to me, and you deserve better. I don't
know where I'm going, but it won't be anywhere around here