.

"Don't talk to ME," she said. "If them pictures ain't the most wonderful
things that ever was, then _I_ don't know. _I_ never expected to
see such sights--soldiers paradin', and cowboys a-ridin', and houses
a-burnin', and Indians scalpin' 'em! I was so worked up I hollered right
out."

"I should think you would. An Indian scalpin' a house is enough to make
anybody holler."

"They didn't scalp the house; what sort of foolishness would that
be--the idea! They scalped the folks IN the house. That is, they
would have scalped 'em, only along come the cowboys wavin' pistols and
hurrahin'--"

"Could you hear 'em hurrah?"

"No, but I could see 'em. And the way they went for them Indians was a
caution. And--Oh, say, Captain Dott, there was one set of pictures there
made me think of you. 'Twas all about some people that wanted to go into
society. She had a paralyzed father and they had a child, a real pretty
girl, and, would you believe it, they commenced to neglect their child
and go off playin' cards and dancin' and carousin' around, and the child
was took down sick and the poor paralyzed grandfather--"

"Grandfather? Thought you said it was a father."

"'Twas the WOMAN'S father--the child's grandfather. Well, anyhow, the
poor thing had to take care of it, and the nurse went to sleep and the
father come home and found her dyin'--"

"Who, the nurse?"

"No, no, the child. The nurse wa'n't sick; but the child was terrible
sick."

"What was the matter with the child; paralysis, too?"

"I don't know what was the matter with it. 'Tain't likely 'twas
paralysis. You get me so mixed up I shan't know what I AM sayin' pretty
soon. Well, anyhow, what happened was that the child's mother and father
neglected it on account their fashionable goin's-on, and the child up
and died. 'Twas the most affectin' thing. There was the child a-dyin',
and the mother and father cryin', and the old grandfather goin' all to
pieces--"

"All to pieces! That's worse than paralysis. Hold on a minute, Azuba!
Was all this in the picture?"

"Yes."

"And you paid to see it?"

"Course I paid to see it. They wouldn't let me in for nothin', 'tain't
likely."

"Well, seems to me you've made a mistake. If cryin' and misery is what
you want, I don't doubt you can find a lot of funerals to go to for
nothin'. But what was there about all this mess of horrors that made you
think of me?"

"Oh, I don't know, unless the way you and Mrs. Dott are goin'