ch great heaviness and sorrow,
that it became weary of all the temporal things, which were before its
chief joy and happiness.

The earthly natural Will indeed desired those things still, but the Soul
would willingly leave them altogether, and desired to die to all
temporal lust and joy whatsoever, and longed only after its first native
country, from whence it originally came. But it found itself to be far
from thence in great distress and want, and knew not what to do, yet
resolved to enter into itself, and try to pray more earnestly.

THE DEVIL'S OPPOSITION

But the Devil opposed it, and withheld it so that it could not bring
itself into any greater fervency of repentance.

He awakened the earthly lusts in its heart, that they might still keep
their evil nature and false right therein, and set them at variance with
the new-born Will and Desire of the Soul. For they would not die to
their own Will and Light, but would still maintain their temporal
pleasures, and so kept the poor Soul captive in their evil desires, that
it could not stir, though it sighed and longed never so much after the
Grace of God. For whensoever it prayed, or offered to press forward
towards God, then the lusts of the flesh swallowed up the rays and
ejaculations that went forth from it, and brought them away from God
into earthly thoughts, that it might not partake of Divine Strength.
Which caused the poor Soul to think itself forsaken of God, not knowing
that he was so near it, and did thus attract it. Also the Devil tempted
the poor Soul, saying to it in the earthly thoughts:

"Why dost thou pray? Dost thou think that God knoweth thee or regardeth
thee? Consider but what thoughts thou hast in his presence; are they not
altogether evil? Thou hast no faith or belief in God at all; how then
should he hear thee? He heareth thee not, leave off; why wilt thou
needlessly torment and vex thyself! Thou hast time enough to repent at
leisure. Wilt thou be mad? Do but look upon the world I pray thee a
little; doth it not live in jollity and mirth, yet it will be saved well
enough for all that. Hath not Christ paid the ransom and satisfied for
all men? Thou needest only persuade and comfort thyself that it is done
for thee, and then thou shalt be saved. Thou canst not possibly in this
world come to any feeling of God, therefore leave off, and take care for
thy body, and look after temporal glory. What dost thou suppose will
become of thee, if thou turn