oised on legs wide apart,
Number Fourteen sang. Uncontrollable glee radiated from him--

Now kids is orl right
When yer ain't got none;
Yer can sit at 'ome
An' eat 'cher dam bun.
I've just 'ad some twins;
Nurse says don't be coy,
For they're just the picture
Of the lodger's boy.
Tinka, Tinka, Tinka; Tinka, Tinka, Tink
'It 'im in the eye and made the lodger blink.
Tinga, Tinga, Tinga; Tinga, Tinga, Teg
Never larfed so much since farver broke 'is leg.

A roar of applause encouraged him. Victoria saw Cairns carried away,
clapping, laughing. In the bar below she could hear continuously the
thud of the levers belching beer. Number Fourteen was still singing, his
smile wide-slit through his face--

Now me paw-in-law
'E's a rum ole bloke;
Got a 'and as light
As a ton o' coke.
Came 'ome late one night
An' what oh did 'e see?
Saw me ma-in-law
On the lodger's knee.
Tinka, Tinka, Tinka; Tinka, Tinka, Tink
'It 'im in the eye an' made the lodger blink.
Tinga, Tinga, Tinga; Tinga, Tinga, Teg,
Never larfed so much since farver broke 'is leg.

Enthusiasm was rising high. Number Fourteen braced himself for his great
effort on the effects of beer. Then, gracious and master of the crowd,
he beat time with his hands while the chorus sounded from a thousand
throats. Victoria happened to look at Cairns. His head was beating time
and, from his lips issued gleefully:

Tinka, Tinka, Tinka; Tinka, Tinka, Tink
'It 'im in the eye--

Victoria scrutinised him narrowly. Cairns was a phenomenon.

'Never larfed so much since farver broke 'is leg,' roared Cairns. 'I
say, Vic, he really _is_ good.' He noticed her puzzled expression. 'I
say, Vic, what's up? Don't you like him?'

Victoria did not answer for a second.

'Oh, yes, I--he's very funny--you see I've never been in a music hall
before.'

'Oh, is that it?' Cairns's brow cleared. 'It's a little coarse, but so
natural.'

'Is that the same thing?' asked Victoria.

'S'pose it is. With some of us anyhow. But what's the next?'

Cairns had already relapsed into the programme. He hated the abstract; a
public school, Sandhurst and the army had armoured him magnificently
against intrusive thought. They watched the next turn silently. A couple
of cross-talk comedians, one a shocking creature in pegtop trousers, a
shock yellow head and a battered opera hat, the oth