with the necessary respect, was to me as
submissive, as obedient to every wish of my heart, as the humblest lover
that ever sighed in the vales of Arcadia. Thus he seduced my affection
from the manes of Marcellus and fixed it on himself. He fixed it, ladies
(I own it with some confusion), more fondly than it had ever been fixed
on Marcellus. And when he had done so he scorned me, he forsook me, he
returned to Cleopatra. Think who I was--the sister of Caesar, sacrificed
to a vile Egyptian queen, the harlot of Julius, the disgrace of her sex!
Every outrage was added that could incense me still more. He gave her at
sundry times, as public marks of his love, many provinces of the Empire
of Rome in the East. He read her love-letters openly in his tribunal
itself--even while he was hearing and judging the causes of kings. Nay,
he left his tribunal, and one of the best Roman orators pleading before
him, to follow her litter, in which she happened to be passing by at that
time. But, what was more grievous to me than all these demonstrations of
his extravagant passion for that infamous woman, he had the assurance, in
a letter to my brother, to call her his wife. Which of you, ladies,
could have patiently borne this treatment?
_Arria_.--Not I, madam, in truth. Had I been in your place, the dagger
with which I pierced my own bosom to show my dear Paetus how easy it was
to die, that dagger should I have plunged into Antony's heart, if piety
to the gods and a due respect to the purity of my own soul had not
stopped my hand. But I verily believe I should have killed myself; not,
as I did, out of affection to my husband, but out of shame and
indignation at the wrongs I endured.
_Portia_.--I must own, Octavia, that to bear such usage was harder to a
woman than to swallow fire.
_Octavia_.--Yet I did bear it, madam, without even a complaint which
could hurt or offend my husband. Nay, more, at his return from his
Parthian expedition, which his impatience to bear a long absence from
Cleopatra had made unfortunate and inglorious, I went to meet him in
Syria, and carried with me rich presents of clothes and money for his
troops, a great number of horses, and two thousand chosen soldiers,
equipped and armed like my brother's Praetorian bands. He sent to stop
me at Athens because his mistress was then with him. I obeyed his
orders; but I wrote to him, by one of his most faithful friends, a letter
full of resignation, and su
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