(I quote from the Doctor's circular),
"where the moral training of the pupils is under the parental
supervision of the Principal." Since the arrival of Master THEOPHILUS, I
have just received weekly reports of his progress on printed forms, and
I presume it is satisfactory, although I do not precisely understand
these weekly missives, which are only a complex arrangement of figures.
To-day, however, I am favored with three letters which came in a bulky
envelope, and I append them, in the order of their perusal by myself.
The first seems to be written by a schoolmate of my son's, and was
probably placed in the envelope inadvertently by THEOPHILUS. I do not
venture to make any alteration in the orthography of the first and
second epistles, as I do not know what dictionary may be authoritative
in Whelpville.

"Deer Thee its rainin like blaises and I cant get out since I came heer
Ive had bully times and I hope Ill keep sik a good wile our doctur lets
me eat donuts but sez I musnt play out in the rain wen its rainin
farther told me Id beter rite to sum of my scholmaids and giv me this
hole sheet of paper maibe Id get a leter rote before dinner but I cant
tell you mutch wile its rainin Thee git sik and you can come heer to git
wel our doctur is bully I havent took no stuf but sitrate of magneeshia
and I don't mind that litel Billy Sims wot lives down by the postofis
has got meesils and you can ketch them from him if he arnt ded and then
old Stuffy can rite to your farther to let you come here and tel him
weve got a bully doctor Thee if Billy Sims is ded or got wel you mite
ketch somthin ells and its prime heer farthers got a gun and I no where
the pouder is bring some pecushin caps with you Thee or well hav to tuch
her off with a cole if old Beeswax wont let you come you mite send me
some caps in a leter don't mash em Thee doctur sais I wil be wel in
about a munth if I don't ketch cold but I can easy fall in the pond
before the munth is out Thee its hoopincof time and you can easy ketch
that you only hav to hold yur breth til you most bust our doctur is
bully for hoopincof.

"Thee weve got a barn and theres lots of ha on 2 high plaises were we
can clime up there arnt no steps nor lader and we hav to clime up poles
its bully Thee theres four cats heer and one lets me nuss her the others
is all wild and run under the barn we can hunt them wild ones Ive got 2
long poles to poke under the barn but I wont hunt the cats till you