wo or three draughts, he turned his eyes
in a contemptuous manner, first on the coachman, and then on me: I saw
the scamp recollected me, for after staring at me and my dress for about
half a minute, he put on a broad grin, and flinging his head back, he
uttered a loud laugh. Well, I did not like this, as you may well
believe, and taking the pipe out of my mouth, I asked him if he meant
anything personal, to which he answered, that he had said nothing to me,
and that he had a right to look where he pleased, and laugh when he
pleased. Well, as to a certain extent he was right, as to looking and
laughing; and as I have occasionally looked at a fool and laughed, though
I was not the fool in this instance, I put my pipe into my mouth and said
no more. This quiet and well-regulated behaviour of mine, however, the
fellow interpreted into fear; so, after drinking a little more, he
suddenly started up, and striding once or twice before the table, he
asked me what I meant by that impertinent question of mine, saying that
he had a good mind to wring my nose for my presumption. 'You have?' said
I, getting up and laying down my pipe, 'well, I'll now give you an
opportunity.' So I put myself in an attitude, and went up to him,
saying, 'I have an old score to settle with you, you scamp; you wanted to
get me turned out of the club, didn't you?' And thereupon, remembering
that he had threatened to wring my nose, I gave him a snorter upon his
own. I wish you could have seen the fellow when he felt the smart; so
far from trying to defend himself, he turned round, and with his hand to
his face, attempted to run away, but I was now in a regular passion, and
following him up, got before him, and was going to pummel away at him,
when he burst into tears, and begged me not to hurt him, saying that he
was sorry if he had offended me, and that, if I pleased, he would go down
on his knees, or do anything else I wanted. Well, when I heard him talk
in this manner, I of course let him be; I could hardly help laughing at
the figure he cut; his face all blubbered with tears and blood and paint;
but I did not laugh at the poor creature either, but went to the table
and took up my pipe, and smoked and drank as if nothing had happened; and
the fellow, after having been to the pump, came and sat down, crying, and
trying to curry favour with me and the coachman; presently, however,
putting on a confidential look, he began to talk of the Popish house,