llowed
him with her black, tearful and somewhat squinting eyes, he felt that
he was leaving behind him something beautiful, precious, which would
never recur. And he became very sad.

"Good-by, Katiousha. I thank you for everything," he said, over the
cap of Sophia Ivanovna, and seated himself in the cabriolet.

"Good-by, Dmitri Ivanovich," she said, in her pleasant, caressing
voice, and holding back the tears which filled her eyes, ran into her
room, where she could cry freely.

CHAPTER XIII.

For three years afterward Nekhludoff did not see Katiousha. But when,
as staff-officer, he was on his way to his army post, he paid a short
visit to his aunts, but an entirely different man. Three years ago he
was an honest, self-denying youth, ready to devote himself to every
good cause; now he was a corrupt and refined egotist, given over to
personal enjoyment. Then, the world appeared to him as a mystery which
he joyfully and enthusiastically tried to solve; now, everything in
this world was plain and simple, and was determined by those
conditions of life in which he found himself. Then, it was necessary
and important to hold communion with nature and with those people who
lived, thought and felt before him (philosophers, poets); now, human
institutions were the only things necessary and important, and
communion he held with his comrades. Woman, then, appeared to him a
mysterious and charming creature; now, he looked on woman, on every
woman, except nearest relations and wives of friends, as a means of
gratifying now tried pleasures. Then, he needed no money, and wanted
not a third part what his mother gave him, disclaimed title to his
father's land, distributing it among the peasants; now, the fifteen
hundred rubles' monthly allowance he received from his mother did not
suffice for his needs, and he often made it the cause of unpleasant
conversation with her. His true self he then considered his spiritual
being; now, his healthy, vigorous, animal self was his true ego.

And all this terrible transformation took place in him only because he
ceased to have faith in himself, and began to believe in others. To
live according to the faith that was in him was burdensome; every
question would have to be decided almost always against his animal
ego, which was seeking light pleasures; but reposing his faith in
others, there remained nothing to decide, everything having been
decided, and decided always against the spiritu