s being offered to baboons. They
are addicted to spirituous liquors, and on the whole it is best to
get them to take the pledge. A valued correspondent of ours, Canon
Phibbs, once had a tame gorilla which invariably accompanied Mrs.
Phibbs at Penny Readings; but this interesting animal died suddenly
from a surfeit of mushrooms, and Canon Phibbs has also joined the
majority.--ED. _Daily Swallow._]

* * * * *

POODLES ON THE LAND.
_Kimono Cottage, Camberley._

DEAR SIR,--Poodles have from time immemorial been employed to hunt for
and dig out truffles in France. May I suggest to all owners of dogs of
this highly intelligent breed that they should use them (1) for digging
in gardens and allotments; (2) in place of caddies on golf links? May I
add that poodles ought not to be shaved with a safety-razor, but should
be trimmed by a topiary expert?

I am, Sir,
Yours faithfully, MAISIE MIMRAM.

[We are most grateful to our correspondent for her information and
the humane suggestion with which it is coupled. Truffle-hunting is
indeed a noble sport.--ED. _Daily Scoop._]

* * * * *

"KILL THAT FLY."
_Limejuice Villa, Leighton Buzzard._

DEAR SIR,--As a dead set is being made against dogs by some
uncompromising food economists, may I point out on behalf of our
four-footed friends what admirable service they render the community by
the destruction of flies? My Irish terrier, Patsy, spends half his time
catching blue-bottles--indeed, my husband, who is of a mathematical
turn, estimates that he accounts for several hundreds every day.
Faithfully yours, VERAX.

[Patsy has indeed deserved well of the commonwealth. Some official
recognition is clearly called for, preferably a special
collar--unstarched, of course--recording his services.--ED. _Weekly
Simpleton_]

* * * * *

HOW TO PROVIDE FOR POMS.
_Mazawattee Mansions, Matlock._

DEAR SIR,--I have had since 1912 a Pomeranian dog of good pedigree.
Wishing to give him a chance, I changed his name from Fritz to Jock, but
he refuses to answer to the new title. As it is impossible to deport him
to his native land, I think of presenting him to a German Prisoners'
Camp in the neighbourhood, but before doing so should be glad of your
advice. Yours anxiously, PUZZLED.

[The problem is a difficult one, but we see no r