otest that
things never looked so _blue_ in their memory, as there is but a slow
demand for

[Illustration: FAST COLOURS.]

The butchers are reduced to their last _stake_. The weavers say their lives
hang by a single _thread_. The booksellers protest we must _turn over a new
leaf_. The ironmongers declare that the times are very _hard_ indeed. The
cabmen say business is completely at a _stand_. The watermen are all
_aground_. The tailors object to the government _measures_;--and the
undertakers think that affairs are assuming a _grave_ aspect. Public
credit, too, is tottering;--nobody will take doctors' _draughts_, and it is
difficult to obtain cash for the best bills (of the play). An extensive
brandy-ball merchant in the neighbourhood of Oxford-street has called a
meeting of his creditors; and serious apprehensions are entertained that a
large manufacturer of lollypops in the Haymarket will be unable to meet his
heavy liabilities. Two watchmakers in the city have stopped this morning,
and what is more extraordinary, their watches have "_stopped_" too.

* * * * *

THE NORMANDIE "NO GO."

The figure, stuffed with shavings, of a French grenadier, constructed by
the Duke of Normandie, and exhibited by him recently at Woolwich, which he
stated would explode if fired at by bullets of his own construction,
possitively objected to being blown up in such a ridiculous manner; and
though several balls were discharged at the man of shavings, he showed no
disposition to move. The Duke waxed exceedingly wroth at the coolness of
his soldier, and swore, if he had been a true Frenchman, he would have
_gone off_ at the first fire.

* * * * *

A CONUNDRUM BY COL. SIBTHORP.

"What's the difference between the top of a mountain and a person afflicted
with any disorder?"--"One's a _summit of a hill_, and the other's _ill of a
summut_."

* * * * *

A CLASSICAL INSCRIPTION FOR A CIGAR CASE.

[Greek: To bakchikhon doraema labe, se gar philo.].--EURIPIDES.

FREE TRANSLATION.

"Accept this gift of To-_Baccha_--cigar fellow."

* * * * *

FASHIONS FOR THE PRESENT WEEK.

Though the dog-days have not yet commenced, _muzzlin_ is very general, and
a new sort of _shally_, called _shilly-shally_, is getting remarkably
prevalent. _Shots_ are still considered the greatest hits, for those who
are anxiou