orm the oyster-supper critic.

The manager's his bosom-friend;
The agents love him like a brother.
His golden rule's to treat himself
As he'd be treated by another.
Though, in a business way, he sells
Impartial puffs for filthy lucre,
There's not, at the dramatic cards,
A rival whom, he cannot euchre.

He makes translations from the French,
Of "interest contemporaneous,"
And ekes a modest salary out
By bribes and bonuses extraneous.
He loves to "buzz" some British _blonde_
Who from a prince received her "breedin'"
And ever since has lived like EVE,
Unclothed (but _not_ ashamed) in Eden.

Widows and orphanesses fair,
Upon the stage, are all his go.
But, _off_, the widow he likes most
Is mentioned as the _Veuve_ CLICQUOT.
Like VATHEK lost in ERLIS' hall,
Upborne on shoulder-blades Afritic,
He bears, within, a perjured heart,
This sensual oyster-supper critic.

SPIFFKINS.

* * * * *

Two Men

JULES FAVRE is said to possess fair administrative abilities, but
GAMBETTA--

* * * * *

[Illustration: REDUCED TO EXTREMITIES.

IT IS WHISPERED BY JENKINS THAT A "PASSING BELLE" OF MADISON AVENUE HAS
RESORTED TO A NOVEL EUROPEAN FASHION BY EXHIBITING A CAST OF HER--WELL,
"INFERIOR ANATOMY," AS A DRAWING-ROOM ORNAMENT.]

* * * * *

OUR PORTFOLIO.

Harrowing effects of the uncertainty of war news--Shocking waste of
literary ammunition--A bill against the Provisional Government for
damages.

TOURS, TENTH WEEK OF THE REPUBLIC, 1870.

It was late in the afternoon when the intelligence arrived of a decisive
victory for the army of General PALADINES, who had been manoeuvring for
nearly a fortnight to draw the Germans into a sort of _cul-de-sac_
formed by the extension of the French lines from Le Mans to Nogent and
Etamps.

It came from such an authentic source, and had about it such appearances
of probability, that I immediately retired to the silence of my chamber
for the purpose of preparing a graphic review of the French situation, a
review in fact for which I had long sought some such opportunity. I had
made considerable progress with my paper, and was about to enter upon
that branch of the subject devoted to discussing the bearings of such a
victory upon the future prospects of France, when a tap