ut him
apprentice to a chimney-sweep--that's what I would do.

GEORGE.--I'm glad you're not my father, that's all.

BELLA.--And I'M glad you're not my father, because you are a wicked man!

MILLIKEN.--Arabella!

BELLA.--Grandmamma says so. He is a worldly man, and the world is
wicked. And he goes to the play: and he smokes, and he says--

TOUCHIT.--Bella, what do I say?

BELLA.--Oh, something dreadful! You know you do! I heard you say it to
the cabman.

TOUCHIT.--So I did, so I did! He asked me fifteen shillings from
Piccadilly, and I told him to go to--to somebody whose name begins with
a D.

CHILDREN.--Here's another carriage passing.

BELLA.--The Lady Rumble's carriage.

GEORGE.--No, it ain't: it's Captain Boxer's carriage [they run into the
garden].

TOUCHIT.--And this is the pass to which you have brought yourself,
Horace Milliken! Why, in your wife's time, it was better than this, my
poor fellow!

MILLIKEN.--Don't speak of her in THAT way, George Touchit!

TOUCHIT.--What have I said? I am only regretting her loss for our sake.
She tyrannized over you; turned your friends out of doors; took your
name out of your clubs; dragged you about from party to party, though
you can no more dance than a bear, and from opera to opera, though you
don't know "God Save the Queen" from "Rule Britannia." You don't, sir;
you know you don't. But Arabella was better than her mother, who has
taken possession of you since your widowhood.

MILLIKEN.--My dear fellow! no, she hasn't. There's MY mother.

TOUCHIT.--Yes, to be sure, there's Mrs. Bonnington, and they quarrel
over you like the two ladies over the baby before King Solomon.

MILLIKEN.--Play the satirist, my good friend! laugh at my weakness!

TOUCHIT.--I know you to be as plucky a fellow as ever stepped, Milliken,
when a man's in the case. I know you and I stood up to each other for an
hour and a half at Westminster.

MILLIKEN.--Thank you! We were both dragons of war! tremendous champions!
Perhaps I am a little soft as regards women. I know my weakness well
enough; but in my case what is my remedy? Put yourself in my position.
Be a widower with two young children. What is more natural than that
the mother of my poor wife should come and superintend my family? My own
mother can't. She has a half-dozen of little half brothers and sisters,
and a husband of her own to attend to. I dare say Mr. Bonnington and my
mother will come to dinner to-day.

TOUCHIT.--Of