the whole was nothing but self-worship, and an
horrid abuse of God.

"I continued, as I remember, in this state of mind, from Friday morning
till the Sabbath evening following (July 12, 1739), when I was walking
again in the same solitary place. Here, in a mournful melancholy state
I was attempting to pray; but found no heart to engage in that or any
other duty; my former concern, exercise, and religious affections were
now gone. I thought that the Spirit of God had quite left me; but still
was NOT DISTRESSED; yet disconsolate, as if there was nothing in heaven
or earth could make me happy. Having been thus endeavoring to
pray--though, as I thought, very stupid and senseless--for near half an
hour; then, as I was walking in a thick grove, unspeakable glory seemed
to open to the apprehension of my soul. I do not mean any external
brightness, nor any imagination of a body of light, but it was a new
inward apprehension or view that I had of God, such as I never had
before, nor anything which had the least resemblance to it. I had no
particular apprehension of any one person in the Trinity, either the
Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost; but it appeared to be Divine glory.
My soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable, to see such a God, such a
glorious Divine Being; and I was inwardly pleased and satisfied that he
should be God over all for ever and ever. My soul was so captivated
and delighted with the excellency of God that I was even swallowed up
in him, at least to that degree that I had no thought about my own
salvation, and scarce reflected that there was such a creature as
myself. I continued in this state of inward joy, peace, and
astonishing, till near dark without any sensible abatement; and then
began to think and examine what I had seen; and felt sweetly composed
in my mind all the evening following. I felt myself in a new world,
and everything about me appeared with a different aspect from what it
was wont to do. At this time, the way of salvation opened to me with
such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and excellency, that I wondered I
should ever think of any other way of salvation; was amazed that I had
not dropped my own contrivances, and complied with this lovely,
blessed, and excellent way before. If I could have been saved by my
own duties or any other way that I had formerly contrived, my whole
soul would now have refused it. I wondered that all the world did not
see and comply with this way of salvatio