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in their note-books), and the dealers are throwing it on to the floor or throwing it at each other or trying to throw it at a retailer, who always puts on a haughty air and passes on to the next stall, till he too gets entangled in the game and finds that he has bought twenty-four stone of whiting at twopence a pound; then he throws it at some more porters, and the porters dash outside and throw it at the carts, and the carts clatter away to Kensington, and my wife buys a whiting at tenpence a pound, and the circle of fish organisation is complete. At about this point it is a good thing to pass on to Covent Garden and buy some flowers. A. P. H. * * * * * [Illustration: _Aspiring Solicitor_ (_speaking in telephone with the idea of impressing supposed client_). "YES, TELL THE LORD CHANCELLOR I WILL LUNCH WITH HIM, AND SHALL BE VERY HAPPY TO GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF MY ADVICE IN THE MATTER HIS LORDSHIP MENTIONED. GOOD-BYE. NOW WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, SIR?" _Supposed Client._ "WELL, I'VE COME ABOUT YOUR TELEPHONE, SIR, WHICH I UNDERSTAND FROM YOUR LETTER TO US HAS BEEN COMPLETELY OUT OF WORKING ORDER SINCE YESTERDAY."] * * * * * A Record Crash. From "Sayings of the Week" in a Sunday paper:-- "With the aerial world at our feet we are making no effort to grasp it.--_G. Holt Thomas._" * * * * * CAPUA. (_A Bolshevist's lament, designed to show that though we may appear to be giving way rather easily to the Russian Government we have a deep purpose in it all._) Silken ways and softer manners Bend the barbarous victor down; Woe unto the Soviet banners! M. KRASSIN is in town. Hark! the Lydian lute is thrumming Roses fall about his feet; He shall pardon each shortcoming, Conqueror he shall taste defeat. Puzzled, maybe slightly baffled, He shall get to like it all, Overlook the absent scaffold At the windows of Whitehall. Piccadilly, though it warps his Sense of justice, he shall see Unencumbered by the corpses Of a bloated _bourgeoisie_; Quite forget the stern aspirants To a nobler newer world; Tread the Birdcage Walk with tyrants, Have his hair by Bond Street curled; Lulled by scented airs and graces, Feel the Scythian ardours fade; Purchase underwear and braces In the Burlington Arcade; Losing for a mess
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