to Schlangenbad. Now, there the difficulty comes in. On the
one hand, if I engage a maid in London, I have the choice of two evils.
Either I must take a trapesing English girl--and I know by experience
that an English girl on the Continent is a vast deal worse than no maid
at all: _you_ have to wait upon _her_, instead of her waiting upon you;
she gets seasick on the crossing, and when she reaches France or
Germany, she hates the meals, and she detests the hotel servants, and
she can't speak the language, so that she's always calling you in to
interpret for her in her private differences with the _fille-de-chambre_
and the landlord; or else I must pick up a French maid in London, and I
know equally by experience that the French maids one engages in London
are invariably dishonest--more dishonest than the rest even; they've
come here because they have no character to speak of elsewhere, and they
think you aren't likely to write and enquire of their last mistress in
Toulouse or St. Petersburg. Then, again, on the other hand, I can't wait
to get a Gretchen, an unsophisticated little Gretchen of the Taunus at
Schlangenbad-- I suppose there _are_ unsophisticated girls in Germany
still--made in Germany--they don't make 'em any longer in England, I'm
sure--like everything else, the trade in rustic innocence has been
driven from the country. I can't wait to get a Gretchen, as I should
like to do, of course, because I simply _daren't_ undertake to cross the
Channel alone and go all that long journey by Ostend or Calais, Brussels
and Cologne, to Schlangenbad.'

'You could get a temporary maid,' her friend suggested, in a lull of the
tornado.

The Cantankerous Old Lady flared up. 'Yes, and have my jewel-case
stolen! Or find she was an English girl without one word of German. Or
nurse her on the boat when I want to give my undivided attention to my
own misfortunes. No, Amelia, I call it positively unkind of you to
suggest such a thing. You're _so_ unsympathetic! I put my foot down
there. I will _not_ take any temporary person.'

I saw my chance. This was a delightful idea. Why not start for
Schlangenbad with the Cantankerous Old Lady?

Of course, I had not the slightest intention of taking a lady's-maid's
place for a permanency. Nor even, if it comes to that, as a passing
expedient. But _if_ I wanted to go round the world, how could I do
better than set out by the Rhine country? The Rhine leads you on to the
Danube, the Danube