of a colonel of Fourth
of July militia:

"H-O-L-D!"

Silence was restored, and all stood around in expectant attitudes to
hear the Squire's explanation. He squared his elbows, shoved up his
sleeves, puffed out his fat cheeks, moistened his lips, and began
pompously: "Gentlemen"----

"You've hit it; that's us," said some of the crowd in applause.

"Gentlemen of Rock River, when, in the course of human events, rumor had
blow'd to my ears the history of the checker-playing of Rock River, and
when I had waxed Cerro Gordo, and Claiborne, and Mower, then, when I say
to my ears was borne the clash of resounding arms in Rock River, the
emporium of Rock County, then did I yearn for more worlds to conquer,
and behold, I buckled on my armor and I am here."

"Behold, he is here," said Foster, in confirmation of the statement.
"Good for you, Squire; git breath and go for us some more."

"Hurrah for the Squire," etc.

"I came seekin' whom I might devour, like a raging lion. I sought foeman
worthy of my steel. I leaped into the arena and blew my challenge to
the four quarters of Rock"----

"Good f'r you! Settemupagin! Go it, you old balloon," they all
applauded.

"Knowing my prowess, I sought a fair fout and no favors. I met the
enemy, and he was mine. Champion after champion went down before me
like--went down like--Ahem! went _down_ before me like grass before the
mighty cyclone of the Andes."

"Listen to the old blowhard," said Steve.

"Put him out," said the speaker, imperturbably. "Gentlemen, have I the
floor?"

"You have," replied Brown, "but come to the point. The Colonel is
anxious to begin shooting." The Colonel, who began to suspect himself
victimized, stood wondering what under heaven they were going to do
next.

"I am a-gitt'n' there," said the orator with a broad and sunny
condescension. "I found your champions an' laid 'em low. I waxed
Walters, and then I tackled the Colonel. I tried the _echelon_, the
'general advance,' then the 'give away' and 'flank' movements. But the
Colonel _was there_! Till this last game it was a fair field and no
favor. And now, gentlemen of Rock, I desire t' state to my deeply
respected opponent that he is still champion of Rock, and I'm not sure
but of Northern Iowa."

"Three cheers for the Kunnel!"

And while they were being given the Colonel's brows relaxed, and the
champion of Cerro Gordo continued earnestly:

"And now I wish to state to Colonel the solemn fact that