n she always wears
gloves.

_Rasper [grunts disapproval]._ Then I suppose it's no use asking her to
give us a tune on the piano?

_Nokes [hastily]._ Not a bit, not a bit; of course not; and, besides, we
shall have lunch directly.

_Susan [approaching them]._ What is dat, Mr. Gasper? Did you not ask for
a leetle music? What you like for me to play?

_Nokes [aside to Susan]._ How can you be such a fool? Why, this is
suicide! [_To Rasper_] My dear fellow, my wife would be delighted, but
the fact is the piano is out of order. The tuner is coming to-morrow.

_Susan [seats herself at the piano]._ My dear husband, it weel do very
well. He only said we must note "thomp, thomp" until he had seen it; dat
is all. Now, gentlemens, what would you like?

_Sponge [with an armful of music-books]._ Nay, madam, what will you do
us the favor to choose? [_Aside_] There is nothing I love so much in
this world as turning over the leaves of a music-book for a lady of
birth!

_Susan._ Ah, I am so sorry, because I do only play by de ear, here
[_points to her ear_]. But what would you like, gentlemens? Handel,
Mozart, Beethoven, Mendelssohn, _it is all exactly de same to me_.

_Robinson._ Oh, then, pray let us have Mendelssohn,--one of those
exquisite Songs without Words of his.

_Susan._ Yas? with plaisir. I like dose songs best myself,--de songs
without words.

_Nokes [aside, despairingly]._ It's impossible she can get out of this.
Now we shall have an _eclaircissement_, an exposure, an explosion.

_Susan [strikes piano violently with both hands, and a string breaks
with a loud report]._ Ah, _quel dommage!_ How stupide, too, when he told
me not to "thomp, thomp"! I am so sorry, gentlemens! I did hope to give
you a song, but I cannot sing without an accompaniment.

_Rasper [maliciously]._ There's the harp, ma'am,--unless its strings
are in the same unsatisfactory state as those of the piano.

_Susan [with affected delight]._ What, you play de harp, Mr. Gasper? I
_am_ so glad, because I do not play it yet myself: I am only learning.
Come, I shall sing, and you shall play upon de harp.

_Rasper [angrily]._ I play the harp, madam! what rubbish! of course I
can't.

_Sponge [eagerly]._ But _I_ can, just a little,--just enough to
accompany one of Mrs. Nokes's charming songs. [_Brings the harp down to
the front, and sits down to it, trying the strings._]

_Nokes [aside]._ The nasty little accomplished beast! He'll ruin
everything.