would calculate less on the livers of your relations, it
would be all the better for your own. Excuse me!"

"Cousin William," replied the poor captain, "I am sure I never
calculated; but still, if you had seen that deceitful man's
good-for-nothing face--as yellow as a guinea--and have gone through
all I've gone through, you would have felt cut to the heart, as I do.
I can't bear ingratitude. I never could. But let it pass. Will that
gentleman take a chair?"

PARSON.--"Mr. Fairfield has kindly called with us, because he knows
something of this system of homeeopathy which you have adopted, and may,
perhaps, know the practitioner. What is the name of your doctor?"

CAPTAIN (looking at his watch).--"That reminds me" (swallowing a
globule). "A great relief these little pills--after the physic I've
taken to please that malignant man. He always tried his doctor's stuff
upon me. But there's another world, and a juster!"

With that pious conclusion the captain again began to weep.

"Touched," muttered the squire, with his forefinger on his forehead.
"You seem to have a good--tidy sort of a nurse here, Cousin Barnabas. I
hope she 's pleasant, and lively, and don't let you take on so."

"Hist!--don't talk of her. All mercenary; every bit of her fawning!
Would you believe it? I give her ten shillings a week, besides all
that goes down of my pats of butter and rolls, and I overheard the
jade saying to the laundress that 'I could not last long; and she
'd--EXPECTATIONS!' Ah, Mr. Dale, when one thinks of the sinfulness there
is in this life! But I'll not think of it. No, I'll not. Let us change
the subject. You were asking my doctor's name. It is--"

Here the woman with "expectations" threw open the door, and suddenly
announced "DR. MORGAN."

CHAPTER IV.

The parson started, and so did Leonard.

The homoeopathist did not at first notice either. With an unobservant
bow to the visitors, he went straight to the patient, and asked, "How go
the symptoms?"

Therewith the captain commenced, in a tone of voice like a schoolboy
reciting the catalogue of the ships in Homer. He had been evidently
conning the symptoms, and learning them by heart. Nor was there a single
nook or corner in his anatomical organization, so far as the captain
was acquainted with that structure, but what some symptom or other was
dragged therefrom, and exposed to day. The squire listened with horror
to the morbific inventory, muttering at each dread i