onsideration of our
friendship, I trusted he would not refuse; and that was, to take my
duty in the expedition about to set forth. His manner implied concern;
and he asked, with a look that had much deliberate expression in it,
'if I was aware that it was a duty in which blood was expected to be
shed? He could not suppose that any consideration would induce me to
resign my duty to another officer, when apprised of this fact.' All
this was said with the air of one really interested in my honour; but
in my increasing impatience, I told him I wanted none of his cant; I
simply asked him a favour, which he would grant or decline as he
thought proper. This was a harshness of language I had never indulged
in; but my mind was sore under the existing causes of my annoyance, and
I could not bear to have my motives reflected on at a moment when my
heart was torn with all the agonies attendant on the position in which
I found myself placed. His cheek paled and flushed more than once,
before he replied, 'that in spite of my unkindness his friendship might
induce him to do much for me, even as he had hitherto done, but that on
the present occasion it rested not with him. In order to justify
himself he would no longer disguise the fact from me, that the colonel
had declared, in the presence of the whole regiment, I should take my
duty regularly in future, and not be suffered to make a convenience of
the service any longer. If, however, he could do any thing for me
during my absence, I had but to command him.

"While I was yet giving vent, in no very measured terms, to the
indignation I felt at being made the subject of public censure by the
colonel, the same sergeant came into the room, announcing that the
company were only waiting for me to march, and that the colonel desired
my instant presence. In the agitation of my feelings, I scarcely knew
what I did, putting several portions of my regimental equipment on so
completely awry, that your father noticed and rectified the errors I
had committed; while again, in the presence of the sergeant, I
expressed the deepest regret he could not relieve me from a duty that
was hateful to the last degree.

"Torn with agony at the thought of the uncertainty in which I was
compelled to leave her, whom I so fondly adored, I had now no other
alternative than to make a partial confidant of your father. I told him
that in the cottage which I pointed out he would find the original of
the portrait he h