t command, to see no
dish I was not to partake of, or be sensible of a desire I might not
express; to be able to bring every wish of my heart to my lips--what a
transition!--at my master's I was scarce allowed to speak, was forced to
quit the table without tasting what I most longed for, and the room when
I had nothing particular to do there; was incessantly confined to my
work, while the liberty my master and his journeymen enjoyed, served only
to increase the weight of my subjection. When disputes happened to
arise, though conscious that I understood the subject better than any of
them, I dared not offer my opinion; in a word, everything I saw became an
object of desire, for no other reason than because I was not permitted to
enjoy anything. Farewell gayety, ease, those happy turns of expressions,
which formerly even made my faults escape correction. I recollect, with
pleasure, a circumstance that happened at my father's, which even now
makes me smile. Being for some fault ordered to bed without my supper,
as I was passing through the kitchen, with my poor morsel of bread in my
hand, I saw the meat turning on the spit; my father and the rest were
round the fire; I must bow to every one as I passed. When I had gone
through this ceremony, leering with a wistful eye at the roast meat,
which looked so inviting, and smelt so savory, I could not abstain from
making that a bow likewise, adding in a pitiful tone, good bye, roast
meal! This unpremeditated pleasantry put them in such good humor, that I
was permitted to stay, and partake of it. Perhaps the same thing might
have produced a similar effect at my master's, but such a thought could
never have occurred to me, or, if it had, I should not have had courage
to express it.

Thus I learned to covet, dissemble, lie, and, at length, to steal, a
propensity I never felt the least idea of before, though since that time
I have never been able entirely to divest myself of it. Desire and
inability united naturally led to this vice, which is the reason
pilfering is so common among footmen and apprentices, though the latter,
as they grow up, and find themselves in a situation where everything is
at their command, lose this shameful propensity. As I never experienced
the advantage, I never enjoyed the benefit.

Good sentiments, ill-directed, frequently lead children into vice.
Notwithstanding my continual wants and temptations, it was more than a
year before I could resolve