ou art in love? In love didst thou say?

_Diggory._ Aye, sir, if it please you.

_Roger._ It pleases me well enough; how doth it please the lady?

_Diggory._ She's not a lady, sir, thank God! she's but a simple
maiden, and it pleaseth her not.

_Roger._ A simple maid refuses you! Ah! Diggory, Diggory, be
thankful for the good things God hath sent thee.

_Diggory._ Truly, sir, I thank Him ev'ry day; but, sir, as I do
desire the maiden--I--I--would have her too.

_Roger._ And so, Diggory, thou wouldst have me aid thee in this
folly, and give thee a love potion?

_Diggory._ Aye, sir, begging your honor's pardon.

_Roger._ But why dost thou ask me, Diggory? Dost thou take me for an
herb-doctor, or a necromancer, or what?

_Diggory._ My master, the Governor, says you are a very learned man,
a what-you-call-'em--a scientist; and a scientist can do anything.

_Roger._ Humph!--Diggory, I do not deal in philters; they are out of
date--but I know a charm will win her love.

_Diggory._ Tell it me for the love of--

_Roger._ Thou wilt betray it, Diggory.

_Diggory._ Never! Never!

_Roger._ Omit thou but a word of it, and the maiden's lost to
thee--but con it well, and all her beauties will be thine.

_Diggory._ Oh! Doctor!

_Roger._ Take of the rendered grease of three black bears--do not
fail in that--anoint thy curly locks--

_Diggory._ My hair is straight.

_Roger._ Never mind--but rub; and, as thou dost, repeat these words:

_Lady love, lady love, where e'er thou be,
Think of no man but only me;
Love me, and wed me, and call me thine own,
Ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling, Joan._

_Diggory._ What is that "Ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling"?

_Roger._ That is the chief element of the charm--don't forget it.
Having done this on nine successive days--dost thou follow me?

_Diggory._ Aye, sir.

_Roger._ On the tenth go to the barber's and have thy hair cut
short.

_Diggory._ But, sir, my hair is my best feature!

_Roger._ It is with many; cut it, however, or lose the worth of all
of the charm. Dost thou hear, Diggory? Cut thy hair short or never
win fair woman. Farewell.

_Diggory._ I thank you, sir. [_Going_] "Lady love,
ting-a-ling"--nay, that's not it.

_Roger._ Diggory!

_Diggory._ Yes, sir.

_Roger._ Who are with the Governor?

_Diggory._ The worthy ministers, Master Wilson and Master Dimsdell.

_Roger._ Very well. [_Exit Diggor