, perhaps, a
promise of secret betrothal."

She lifted her head and set her chin on one clinched hand, yet never
looked at me:

"Sir Frederick was abed; I all alone in the great arms-gallery, nose to
the diamond window-panes, and looking out at the moon--and waiting for
him. Suddenly I saw him there below.... Heaven is witness I meant no
harm nor dreamed of any. He was not alone. My heart and my affections
were stirred to warmth--I sailing from Canada and friends next day at
dawn--and I went down to the terrace and out among the trees where he
stood, his companion moving off among the trees. I had come only to bid
him the farewell I had promised, Carus--I never dreamed of what he
meant to do."

She cleared her hair from her brow.

"I--I swear to you, Carus, that never has Walter Butler so much as laid
the weight of his little finger on my person! Yet he swayed me
there--using that spell of melancholy, clothed in romance--and--I know
not how it was--or how I listened, or how consented--it is scarce more
than a dreadful dream--the trees in the moonlight, his voice so gentle,
so pitiful, trembling, beseeching--and he had brought a
clergyman"--again her hands covered her eyes--"and, ere I was aware of
it, frightened, stunned in the storm of his passion, he had his way with
me. The clergyman stood between us, saying words that bound me. I heard
them, I was mute, I shrank from the ring, yet suffered it--for even as
he ringed me he touched me not with his hand. Oh, if he had, I think the
spell had broken!"

Again her tears welled up, falling silently; and presently the strength
returned to her voice, and she went on:

"From the first moment that I saw you, Carus, I understood what love
might be. From the very first I closed my ears to the quick cry of
caution. I saw you meet coquetry unmoved, I knew the poison of my first
passion was in me, stealing through every vein; and every moment with
you was the more hopeless for me. I played a hundred roles--you smiled
indifference on all. A mad desire to please you grew with your amused
impatience of me. Curiosity turned to jealousy. I longed for your
affection as I never longed for anything on earth--or heaven. I had
never had a lover to love before. O Carus, I had never loved, and love
crazed me! Day after day I wondered if I had been fashioned to inspire
love in such a man as you. I was bewildered by my passion and your
coldness; yet had I not been utterly mad I must have k