a lunch on board
about twelve."

"All this is quite practicable."

"And why can't you take the steamer up to the pier at Mrs. Mitchell's
place?" demanded my passenger.

"Because the bottom is too near the top of the water," I replied,
laughing at the puzzled expression on my cousin's face.

"Couldn't you have the bottom put farther down for this occasion?" he
inquired very seriously.

"Certainly, if you are willing to pay the bills and to wait long enough
for the work to be done."

"I don't object to the bills, but we can't wait."

"I see that you have become quite an American traveller; you don't
dispute any bills, and you can't wait."

"I can't wait to have a channel dredged out up to that pier, for very
likely it would take all day to do it."

"It would take you Britishers three months to do it; Americans would do
it in a week."

"I think my uncle, your father, is a Britisher. But I have no time to
quarrel with you about that matter now; it will keep. We will be landed
at the pier in boats, since you are not willing to accommodate us in
any other manner."

"I will arrange the landing so that it shall be satisfactory," I added,
thinking of a large barge I had seen at the boat-wharf.

"Then we are all right for to-morrow, are we, Alick?" asked my
facetious cousin.

"All right. Whenever you tell me what you want, it shall be done."

"But just now you objected to taking your steamer up to that pier."

"I should have qualified the declaration----"

"Merciful Hotandsplosh!"

"Is that man your idol?"

"You take my breath away with your stunning long words!"

"I won't take your breath away, for you will want it all. I will do all
you want when I can," I added.

"How much prettier that sounds than 'qualified the declaration.'"

"I see that I must write out all my speeches in words of not more than
four letters, so as to bring them down to the dull brain of a Briton."

"The dull brain of a Briton is good."

"So your friend Hotandsplosh would say."

"I will introduce him to you some time."

"I don't want to know him; he is too slow for me."

"Come, come, Alick; we are quarrelling when we have business to do,"
said Owen, shaking his shoulders like a vexed child.

"You are quarrelling; I am not. You pick me up on my language as though
you were my schoolmaster, and then complain that I am impeding the
business of the conference."

"Cut it short! 'Impeding the business of the conference!' That