ou think I want to be alive?" she asked him, and slipped to her
knees beside the bed. "I didn't want to die until just now. All the
time, I said, Zebedee will understand. He'll know I did my best. He'll
be so sorry for me--"

"So sorry for you that he couldn't think about himself! Sorry for
you--yes! But can't you see what you have done for me? You never thought
of that! It's like a woman. If you'd killed me--but you have killed me.
And you did it lightly. You let me come here, you gave me your mouth to
kiss, and then you tell me this! This! Oh, it's nothing! You've married
some one else! You couldn't help it! Ah--!" He shook with a rage that
terrified her, and having held out disregarded arms to him, she let her
trembling mouth droop shapelessly, and made no effort to control her
heavy tears, the sobs rushing up and out with ugly, tortured sounds. She
spoke between them.

"I never thought you would be angry. But I dreamt about you angry.
Oh"--she spoke now only to herself--"he doesn't understand. If I hadn't
loved him truly, I needn't have kept my word, but I had to be honest, or
I wouldn't have been worthy." She dropped her face against the bed and
mumbled there. "Nothing matters, then. Not even being honest. I--I--Oh!
Angry--Zebedee darling, I can't bear it. Tell me you won't be angry any
more."

"Dearest--" He sat on the bed and pulled her wet face to his knee.
"Dearest--"

She took his hands and pressed them against her eyes. "Forgive me,
Zebedee."

"I can't forgive you. I can only love you. For ever and ever--I want to
think, Helen."

"You're shaking so."

"And you are shivering. Come downstairs beside a fire."

"No; we are safer here." Her arms went round him, beneath his coat, and
she leaned her head against his breast. "I wish we could go to sleep and
never wake."

"I ought never to have left you."

She looked up. "Zebedee, he hasn't worried me. He kissed me once. That's
all. That's why I made you kiss my mouth."

"He shall never worry you. I'm going to see him now, and I shall come
back soon. Let me go, sweetheart."

"No, I can't let you go. It isn't that I'm afraid for you. I--I don't
mind if you hurt each other, but if you killed him--if he killed you--!
But you won't do that. You'll just say dreadful things, and then he'll
come to me and take me all. Don't you see? He could. He would. In my own
way, I can--I can keep him off, but if you went to him and claimed
me--No, Zebedee, there would b