--put me in a glow,
and I stepped out in a juvenile pace that would have done credit to
"the Boy" in training days. As I came nearer, my mercury went rapidly
down to zero. Every car was jammed, aisles packed and box-cars crowded
even on top. The doorways and platforms were filled with long rows of
gray blankets that smelt suggestively human! Crowds of detained
passengers and three companies of the "Crescent Guard" had taken their
places at midnight, and slept with a peacefulness perfectly
aggravating. As I walked ruefully by the windows, there was no hope!
Every seat was filled, and every passenger slept the sleep of the just;
and their mixed and volleyed snoring came through,

"Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme."

There was no sort of use. I'd have to try the Express, and deep was my
chuckle as I reread my friend Grimes' remarkable production. It would
be an oasis in this desert--that Express car; but lo! when I went to
look for it there was none on the train!

Dead beat I sat on the platform and awaited day. When a fireman began
operations on the engine, I meekly queried where the Express was.

"Be n't none," was the surly rejoinder.

I was wet and tired and generally bewildered. Was it a wonder that I
then and there swore at that fireman, as only meek and long-suffering
men, when aroused, can swear? The volley was effective, however, and he
very politely told me the agent would "be roun'" before the train
started. Presently he pointed out the desired individual, to whom I
hastened to hand my note. Now the terrible denunciations my former
friend had made on his own soul were as nothing to what the present
representative of Adams & Co. called down upon his own and everybody
else's immortal function.

"Well, I hope to be eternally ---- ---- by ----! But it ain't no use!
---- ---- my ---- soul, ef yer shan't ride somehow!" remarked this
profane expressman. "Yer be Hector Grimes' brother, and by ----! go
yer shell! Yer married his sister Cynthy--the one as squints? Why
---- ---- me! I knowed her when she wasn't knee high--and yer done
---- ---- well, by ----! Here, Potty!" and he addressed a greasy man
just mounting the mail car--"Here be Grimes' brother, as _must_ git to
Weldon, by ---- ----! So hist him along, will yer?"

"O.K. Jump in, Mr. Grimes," agreed the mail agent; and by this time I
was so wet and disgusted I didn't care who I was. So in I went, playing
_Grimes_ "for this night