DANE_ (_aside to Lord MORLEY_). Had MCKENNA been caught young
and forcibly educated, he would have made a metaphysician.

_Mr. ASQUITH._ We have not yet considered whether anything can be done
to remedy the temporary unpopularity of the Government.

_Colonel SEELEY._ Suppose HOBHOUSE resigned. (_A hum of approval._)

_Mr. ASQUITH._ Say, rather, accepted a lofty Imperial post.

_Mr. HOBHOUSE._ And made room for LLOYD GEORGE'S Man Friday! It would
mean a by-election in Bethnal Green, where he comes from.
(_Consternation._)

_Mr. BURNS._ I----

_Mr. ASQUITH_ (_suddenly_). I accept your resignation with great regret,
BURNS.

_Mr. Burns._ (_indignantly_). I was about to say that under no
circumstances would I resign.

_Mr. ASQUITH_ (_sadly_). Pardon me. I thought you were anxious for
leisure to complete your autobiography. Well, if there are no
resignations, I think we have ended the business of the day.

* * * *

A CLEAN SLATE.

[Illustration: BOTHA (_to himself_). "I BEG TO PRESENT YOU WITH THIS
TOKEN OF MY SINCERE APPROBATION."

HIMSELF (_to Botha_). "I ACCEPT IT IN THE SPIRIT IN WHICH IT IS GIVEN."]

* * * *

[Illustration: _Crafty Neighbor_ (_to stout old lady who has just
entered carriage with four on each side_). "Excuse me, Mum, but you'll
find more room on the other side--there are only four there."

_Old Lady._ "Thankee, Sir, so there be; I 'adn't noticed." (_Changes
over._)]

* * * *

THE CLUB MUSIC HALL.

The Royal Automobile Club having decided to enter into serious
competition with the Music Halls in order to encourage active
membership, it is rumoured that one or two other clubs are determined
not to be left behind, and the following announcements may be expected
shortly:--

PATHENAEUM CLUB.

Notice to Bishops-Elect.

Every Evening at 8 and Matinees (Weds. and Sats.) at 2.30:

"SHOULD A WOMAN CONFESS?"

Kinoplastieon drama by THE DEAN OF TOOTING.

Evenings at 10:

"THE SARUM LILY" in her marvellous Ecclesiastical Dances.

THE UNITED DIVERSITIES CLUB.

Every Afternoon at 2.30 and Every Evening at 9:

Grand Co-operative Concert and Variety Entertainment.

Davy Lloyd in His Great Land Act, with Troupe of Performing Scotch
Woodcocks.

Bonnie Lawder ... "_My True Blue Belfast._"
Ted Carson and Chorus of Outlaws.

Bertie Samuel ... _Heard at the Telephone_
(farcical comedy).

Reggie