still was for him to do without her?

He reined up his horse so sharply that the animal stood still,
trembling. All around him were solitary woods, and the road that ran by
the side of the railway was utterly deserted. He sprang off, threw the
reins over the horse's neck, and threw himself on his back at the side
of road, on the thick, dry moss, which sent out a cloud of fragrant
dust into the heated air.

Here he lay; and if his manliness had not forbidden him, he would have
liked nothing better than to relieve himself by a flood of burning
tears, like a helpless, unhappy child, to whom some one has shown its
favorite plaything and then taken it away again. Instead of yielding to
such girlish weakness, he strengthened and stilled his rebellious heart
with that defiant spirit which is the man's form of this youthful
feebleness. He gnashed his teeth, cast threatening glances up at the
tree-tops and the blue dome of the sky, and behaved himself generally
in a way so boyish, and so unworthy of the great statesman that Schnetz
believed he had detected in him, that even his horse, hearing his wild,
disconnected words, and the strange gnashing and raving by which they
were accompanied, looked up in amazement from his grazing, and turned
his head toward his rider with an expression of silent pity. "Is it any
fault of mine," he raved to himself, "that a ridiculous accident has
brought her to the very spot where I was on the point of beginning a
new life? Must I fly before her, like a fool, the moment this absurd
fate brings her near me again? The world is surely large enough for us
both; and yet now, though she knows why I have pitched my tent in this
particular place, she persists in haunting the immediate neighborhood,
so that I can't take a step outside the gates without running the risk
of meeting her. What am I saying? Why, I do not dare even to go out to
the lake! I am to be cut off from light and air, and left to smother in
the Munich dust! In other words, I am to condemn myself to perpetual
imprisonment for a crime of which I do not even repent. No! I owe
something to myself as well. Why shouldn't I show that I have put the
whole affair behind me once for all, and go on living as though certain
eyes were no longer in the world? Cannot one person ignore another?
Shall it last forever, this fear of ghosts? As if one couldn't go
around a street corner without meeting a dead and buried love!"--he
sprang up suddenly, smoot