Finally I got tired
of his infernal canting and tersely told him to go to the devil,
advising him at the same time to marry the girl with the dirty
stockings, as I was very certain he was the right man for the husband.
Events were quiet for a couple of days. Hostilities soon broke out. The
doctor had ordered a soft-boiled egg to be given me. Beauty brought it
to me in a glass tumbler and skipped away in a hurry. There was more
salt than egg. Fortunately, she had not stirred it up, so I skimmed off
the egg carefully and ate it. Then I gazed at the tumbler. There was at
least one inch of solid salt in the bottom. Keefe had been watching me
and was highly amused. But Beauty discreetly kept out of my way for the
remainder of the day. I informed the surgeon that I was very dainty
about eating eggs and preferred them served in the shell; so that salt
racket was stopped. I will always believe that Beauty and her acting
husband put up a job on me.

A very angular woman with sanctimonious visage and a huge Bible in her
hand squatted herself by my bed. The way she read the Scriptures to me
would make a dead man turn over in his coffin. In about five minutes
there was war in earnest. The surgeon happened to come in just then and
ordered her out of the hospital. The next episode was through a friendly
German. He was a sailor, and, being in one of the Southern ports during
the early of the Rebellion, he, like many other sailors, was forced
into the rebel army. In one of the battles he had been wounded by a
piece of shell. As he was now convalescent, he was at leisure to go
where he pleased. He spoke about the large quantities of blackberries
that were to be found in the woods. I asked him to bring me some the
next time he gathered any. While taking a morning nap a plate of nice,
large blackberries had been left on the table at my bedside. When I
awoke I was perfectly delighted at the sight. I had been craving for
fruit for some days past. They seemed too nice to eat. Temptation was
strong, however, and I picked up a single berry and put it in my mouth.
My intention was to eat the whole plateful--one at a time. The surgeon
just then passed near me.

"Well, surgeon, this is a great treat," I said to him. He seemed quite
nervous when he saw the berries.

"How many have you eaten?"

"This is the first one," I replied.

"Well, that is lucky for you. Had you eaten twelve of them, you would
have been a dead man inside of twenty-four