ould soothe my restless spirit.

"But, unfortunately, even in the slums one needs to eat. Without warning
I tumble from my air castles because some horrible monster gnaws at me,
and will not let me be, however much I try to ignore him. That mean,
sneaking thing is hunger. And because I am only mortal, and because the
will to live is stronger than I, I must eat my bread. I often cry when I
think of this contemptible weakness. I have often tried to overcome this
annoying healthiness of my body. How can people be gourmands? Even
Shelley and Keats had to eat. What a repulsive word 'eat' is! I would I
could eat my heart and drink my tears. The world is what it is because
we must eat. See the whole universe eating and eating itself, over and
over! If it were not for this fearful necessity, Terry and I should
not, perhaps, have failed in our high attempt!

"'The chief thing,' said Oscar Wilde, 'that makes life a failure, from
the artistic point of view, is the thing which lends to life its sordid
security.'

"But alas! to this sordid security, or to the care for it, we are driven
by our need of bread. If Terry and Katie and I had never had this need,
we might have become angels of virtue and insight. But on account of
this we never could really attain freedom; that embittered our souls and
turned us at times viciously against each other."

Terry's growing jealousy, which seemed to surprise Marie, was a sign of
the weakening of his philosophy, as far as it was social and not purely
individual. It may seem strange that after his real love for her
appeared to pass, his jealousy increased; but this was due to several
causes: if his social interest in her--his propagandist interest--had
continued, her sexual license would have continued to feed his passion
for social protest. But when Marie had ceased to interest him as a
"case," or a "type," or a "victim," the only bond remaining must be that
of the pure individual soul or of the body. Terry's lack of
sensuality--his predominating spiritual and mental character--precluded
any strong tie of the physical kind. So there remained, as a possible
tie, only a close spiritual relation between two individuals, a soul
bond--and this Marie's character and conduct tended to prevent. Terry,
if they were to be together, saw that the deeper personal relation must
exist, now that there was no other--and so he was jealous of any conduct
which showed in Marie a lack of sensibility for the deeper