nship is to make it impossible for him to enjoy his friends in
her company. She can thus send him off on hunting trips or other
outside enjoyments which leave her lonely at home. The fact that few
worth-while men or women have lived to the marriage day without deep
affection for some friend, or perhaps for many friends, is not a
testimony to need of change when a new relation is formed but to the
enlargement of both circles of comradeship and their amalgamation into
friends of the family. This may be a difficult achievement. Many men
and women have found, to their surprise, that although they are in
love with wife or husband they are not at all in love with the
respective families and still less inclined to accept each other's
chosen friends as their own. One angle alone of the many-sided
character may have "made the match;" quite other angles have already
attracted and still hold the friends. These often mutually incongruous
friends of both sides must somehow be made to attach themselves to the
marriage plan or they may work much harm to the new home.

The art of holding on to old associations and yet substituting, where
substitution is wise or necessary, a new for an established
relationship is a great art. In the case of the newly married whose
friends have been in widely different circles, it is often an
impossible one.

Here is where the social wisdom that in some manner essays to make the
twain to be later one a part of the same or a very similar social
group, shows its finest results. When marriage was arranged by the
elders of the respective families there was likely to be a similarity
in the social standards of the two circles from which the bride and
groom were drawn. Their friends were usually so inevitably of the same
financial standing and of similar cultural ideals and manners that
they would be likely to be congenial to each other and all to both
husband and wife. When the one chosen was selected by the fathers and
mothers there were some essentials for successful married life secured
in advance. We have now come to feel that each couple must choose for
themselves and that conscious, selective love is the very essence of
that choice. It is well, however, to name over the essentials secured
by the arranged marriages, to which such an enlightened country as
France still gives much heed and still holds to some extent in family
control.

=Some Advantages in Choices of Marriage by the Elders.=--The old
arr