o be held by the male Methodists in Washington, D.C. And,
sez he--

"Samantha, git my fine shirt and my best necktie to once, for I want to
start on the noon train."

"What for?" sez I coldly; for I discourage his wild projects all I can.

I have to act like a heavy weight in a clock movin' half the time, or he
would be jest swept to and frow like a pendulum. It makes me feel queer.

Sez I, "What are you a-layin' out to set off for Washington, D.C., for?"

My tone kinder hung on to him, and stiddied him down some. And he lost
some of his wild and excited mean. And he stopped onbuttonin' his
vest--he had onbuttoned his shirt-collar and took his old necktie off on
his way from the gate--so ardent and impulsive is my dear pardner, and
so anxious to start.

"Why," sez he, "I told you, didn't I? I am goin' to Washington to tend
to that Equinomical Counsel. Five hundred male men are a-goin' to git
together to counsel together on the best ways of bein' equinomical. And
here at last"--sez he proudly--"here at last is the chance I have always
been a-lookin' out for. Here is the opportunity for me to show off, and
be somebody."

And here he begun agin to onbutton his shirt-sleeves and loosen his
collar.

But I sez slowly and firmly, and as much like a heavy weight as I
could--

"It is three hours to train time. Set down and act like a human bein'
and a Methodist, and tell me what it is you want to do."

He glanced up at the clock onto the mantelry-piece, and he see I wuz
right about the time. And he sot down, and sez he--

"That is jest how I want to act, like a Methodist, and a equinomical
counsellor."

"What for?" sez I. "What do you want to do?"

"Why, to teach 'em," sez he. "To show myself off. To counsel 'em."

"To counsel 'em about what?" sez I heavily, bein' bound to come to the
bottom of the matter, and the sense on't, if sense there wuz in it.

"Why," sez he, "they are havin' a counsel there to see if there are any
new ways for men and Methodists to be equinomical. And I'll be dumned if
there is a man or a Methodist from Maine to Florida that can counsel 'em
better about bein' equinomical than I can.

"Why, you have always said so," sez he. "You have called it tightness,
but I have always known that it wuz pure economy; and now," sez he, "has
come the chance of a lifetime, for me to rise up and show myself off
before the nation. To git the high, lofty name that I ort to have, and
do good."

I droppe