ionery
department, where seated on a specially designed chair and surrounded by
the most precious manifestations of applied art, you could select a
threepenny box of J pens, and have it sent home in a pair-horse van.

The unobservant visitor wondered how Hugo made it pay. The observant
visitor did not fail to note that there were more than a hundred
cash-desks in the place, and that all the cashiers had the air of being
overworked. Once the entire army of cashiers, driven to defensive
action, had combined in order to demand from Hugo, not only higher pay,
but an increase in their numbers. Hugo had immediately consented,
expressing regret that their desperate plight had escaped his attention.

The registered telegraphic address of the establishment was 'Complete,
London.'

This address indicated the ideal which Hugo had turned into a reality.
His imperial palace was far more than a universal bazaar. He boasted
that you could do everything there, except get into debt. (His
dictionary was an expurgated edition, and did not contain the word
'credit.') Throughout life's fitful fever Hugo undertook to meet all
your demands. Your mother could buy your layette from him, and your
cradle, soothing-syrup, perambulator, and toys; she could hire your
nurse at Hugo's. Your school-master could purchase canes there. Hugo
sold the material for every known game; also sweets, cigarettes,
penknives, walking-sticks, moustache-forcers, neckties, and
trouser-stretchers. He shaved you, and kept the latest in scents and
kit-bags. He was unsurpassed for fishing-rods, motor-cars, Swinburne's
poems, button-holes, elaborate bouquets, fans, and photographs. His
restaurant was full of discreet corners with tables for two under
rose-shaded lights. He booked seats for theatres, trains, steamers,
grand-stands, and the Empire. He dealt in all stocks and shares. He was
a banker. He acted as agent for all insurance companies. He would insert
advertisements in the agony column, or any other column, of any
newspaper. If you wanted a flat, a house, a shooting-box, a castle, a
yacht, or a salmon river, Hugo could sell, or Hugo could let, the very
thing. He provided strong-rooms for your savings, and summer quarters
for your wife's furs; conjurers to amuse your guests after dinner, and
all the requisites for your daughter's wedding, from the cake and the
silk petticoats to the Viennese band. His wine-cellars and his specific
for the gout were alike famous; s