or place, yet shall you find him a very
saucy companion. Ever since the wars in Naples, he hath so minced the
ancient and bountiful allowance as if his nation should keep a perpetual
diet. The serving-men call him the last relic of popery, that makes men
fast against their conscience. He can be truly said to be no man's
fellow but his master's, for the rest of the servants are starved by
him. He is the prime cause why noblemen build their houses so great, for
the smallness of their kitchen makes the house the bigger; and the lord
calls him his alchemist, that can extract gold out of herbs, mushrooms,
or anything. That which he dresses we may rather call a drinking than a
meal, yet he is so full of variety that he brags, and truly, that he
gives you but a taste of what he can do. He dares not for his life come
among the butchers, for sure they would quarter and bake him after the
English fashion, he's such an enemy to beef and mutton. To conclude, he
were only fit to make, a funeral feast, where men should eat their
victuals in mourning.

A SEXTON

Is an ill-wilier to human nature. Of all proverbs he cannot endure to
hear that which says, We ought to live by the quick, not by the dead. He
could willingly all his lifetime be confined to the churchyard; at
least, within five foot on't, for at every church stile commonly there's
an alehouse, where, let him be found never so idle-pated, he is still a
grave drunkard. He breaks his fast heartiest while he is making a grave,
and says the opening of the ground makes him hungry. Though one would
take him to be a sloven, yet he loves clean linen extremely, and for
that reason takes an order that fine Holland sheets be not made
worms'-meat. Like a nation called the Cusani, he weeps when any are born
and laughs when they die; the reason, he gets by burials not
christenings. He will hold an argument in a tavern over sack till the
dial and himself be both at a stand; he never observes any time but
sermon-time, and there he sleeps by the hour-glass. The ropemaker pays
him a pension, and he pays tribute to the physician; for the physician
makes work for the sexton, as the ropemaker for the hangman. Lastly, he
wishes the dog-days would last all year long; and a great plague is his
year of jubilee.

A JESUIT

Is a larger spoon for a traitor to feed with the devil than any other
order; unclasp him, and he's a grey wolf with a golden star in the
forehead; so superstitiously he