I could apply, and my friends had already taxed
themselves beyond reason in my behalf. It was clear, then, that I was
born unlucky, and I concluded that I had no longer any right to a
separate and independent existence. To one of my temperament suicide is
a difficult proposition. Finally, I lit upon the idea which you have
just witnessed in execution. A healthy, intelligent young man--surely
there must be some market for his exclusive services? Fortunes used to
be made in the African slave-trade.

"It only remains to add that I immediately started to realize upon
these reasonable expectations. I went to the plaza at Fifty-ninth
Street and Fifth Avenue and asked for bids. Unfortunately, no one
seemed to take me seriously, and a policeman obliged me to move on. I
had the same disheartening experience in front of Delmonico's and again
in the Turkish room of the Waldorf-Astoria. It is August, you know, and
the town is empty, but I was a bargain; I can say that without
affectation. Merely to have bought me on speculation, with the idea of
unloading on one of the Adirondack or White mountain hotel resorts--it
would have been impossible to lose. But I could not get a bid, and so I
shifted along down-town--Madison Square, Union Square, then westward by
Jefferson Market and West Tenth Street. Ever edging a little closer to
the river, you observe, and yet, upon my honor, I was not conscious of
any definite volition in the matter; it was as though some one were
gently pushing me along. Then Abingdon Square and your entrance upon
the boards of my little drama--you and Mr. Bardi. Gentlemen, I thank
you for your attention."

"I should say, Thorp," said Indiman, "that Mr. Harding is well
qualified for membership in the Utinam Club. Will you put him up and
I'll second him? The club," he added, by way of explanation to our
guest, "is an association of the unsuccessful in life--the
non-strenuous, the incapable--above all, the unlucky."

"Rest assured that my eligibility is beyond question," answered Mr.
Harding, with a smile. "In a society where misfortune confers a certain
cachet I may confidently expect to attain distinction."

"Do you really consider yourself an abnormally unlucky person?" said
Indiman, seriously. "I have a reason for asking."

"Upon my soul," returned the young man, warmly. "I verily believe that
I have a genius for getting on the wrong side of things. If I should
wager you that I am alive at this moment there