perament and somewhat gloomy although glowing
imagination. It is strange, too, that he most strongly enlisted my
feelings in behalf of the life of a seaman, when he depicted his more
terrible moments of suffering and despair. For the bright side of the
painting I had a limited sympathy. My visions were of shipwreck and
famine; of death or captivity among barbarian hordes; of a lifetime
dragged out in sorrow and tears, upon some gray and desolate rock, in
an ocean unapproachable and unknown. Such visions or desires--for they
amounted to desires--are common, I have since been assured, to the whole
numerous race of the melancholy among men--at the time of which I speak
I regarded them only as prophetic glimpses of a destiny which I felt
myself in a measure bound to fulfil. Augustus thoroughly entered into my
state of mind. It is probable, indeed, that our intimate communion had
resulted in a partial interchange of character.

About eighteen months after the period of the Ariel's disaster, the
firm of Lloyd and Vredenburgh (a house connected in some manner with the
Messieurs Enderby, I believe, of Liverpool) were engaged in repairing
and fitting out the brig Grampus for a whaling voyage. She was an old
hulk, and scarcely seaworthy when all was done to her that could be
done. I hardly know why she was chosen in preference to other good
vessels belonging to the same owners--but so it was. Mr. Barnard was
appointed to command her, and Augustus was going with him. While the
brig was getting ready, he frequently urged upon me the excellency of
the opportunity now offered for indulging my desire of travel. He found
me by no means an unwilling listener--yet the matter could not be so
easily arranged. My father made no direct opposition; but my mother went
into hysterics at the bare mention of the design; and, more than all,
my grandfather, from whom I expected much, vowed to cut me off with
a shilling if I should ever broach the subject to him again. These
difficulties, however, so far from abating my desire, only added fuel to
the flame. I determined to go at all hazards; and, having made known my
intentions to Augustus, we set about arranging a plan by which it
might be accomplished. In the meantime I forbore speaking to any of my
relations in regard to the voyage, and, as I busied myself ostensibly
with my usual studies, it was supposed that I had abandoned the design.
I have since frequently examined my conduct on this occasion