ransit or storage. You will proceed to
collect same from consignee."

Flannery received this letter next morning, and when he read it he
grinned.

"Proceed to collect," he said softly. "How thim clerks do loike to be
talkin'! Me proceed to collect two dollars and twinty-foive cints off
Misther Morehouse! I wonder do thim clerks know Misther Morehouse?
I'll git it! Oh, yes! 'Misther Morehouse, two an' a quarter, plaze.'
'Cert'nly, me dear frind Flannery. Delighted!' Not!"

Flannery drove the express wagon to Mr. Morehouse's door. Mr. Morehouse
answered the bell.

"Ah, ha!" he cried as soon as he saw it was Flannery. "So you've come to
your senses at last, have you? I thought you would! Bring the box in."

"I hev no box," said Flannery coldly. "I hev a bill agin Misther John
C. Morehouse for two dollars and twinty-foive cints for kebbages aten by
his dago pigs. Wud you wish to pay ut?"

"Pay--Cabbages--!" gasped Mr. Morehouse. "Do you mean to say that two
little guinea-pigs--"

"Eight!" said Flannery. "Papa an' mamma an' the six childer. Eight!"

For answer Mr. Morehouse slammed the door in Flannery's face. Flannery
looked at the door reproachfully.

"I take ut the con-sign-y don't want to pay for thim kebbages," he said.
"If I know signs of refusal, the con-sign-y refuses to pay for wan dang
kebbage leaf an' be hanged to me!"

Mr. Morgan, the head of the Tariff Department, consulted the president
of the Interurban Express Company regarding guinea-pigs, as to whether
they were pigs or not pigs. The president was inclined to treat the
matter lightly.

"What is the rate on pigs and on pets?" he asked.

"Pigs thirty cents, pets twenty-five," said Morgan.

"Then of course guinea-pigs are pigs," said the president.

"Yes," agreed Morgan, "I look at it that way, too. A thing that can come
under two rates is naturally due to be classed as the higher. But are
guinea-pigs, pigs? Aren't they rabbits?"

"Come to think of it," said the president, "I believe they are more like
rabbits. Sort of half-way station between pig and rabbit. I think the
question is this--are guinea-pigs of the domestic pig family? I'll ask
professor Gordon. He is authority on such things. Leave the papers with
me."

The president put the papers on his desk and wrote a letter to Professor
Gordon. Unfortunately the Professor was in South America collecting
zoological specimens, and the letter was forwarded to him by his wife.
As the Profess