you
ever see it rain?" and he sed, "Wall one day last summer down our way it
got to rainin' and it rained so hard that the drops jist rubbed together
comin' down, which made them so allfired hot that they turned into
steam; why, it rained so gosh dinged hard, thar wuz a cider bar'l layin'
out in the yard that had both heads out'n it and the bung hole up; wall,
it rained so hard into that bung hole that the water couldn't run out of
both ends of the bar'l fast enough, and it swelled up and busted." Wall,
we all took a fresh chew of terbacker and nudged each other; and Ezra
Hoskins sed he didn't remember as how he'd ever seen it rain quite so
hard as that, but he'd seen some mighty dry weather; he sed one time
when he wuz out in Kansas it got so tarnation dry that fish a-swimmin'
up the river left a cloud of dust behind them. And hot, too; why, it got
so allfired hot that one day he tied his mule to a pen of popcorn out
behind the barn, and it got so hot that the corn got to poppin' and
flyin' 'round that old mule's ears and he thought it wuz snow and laid
down and froze to death. Wall, about that time old Jim Lawson commenced
to show signs of uneasiness, and someone sed, "What is it, Jim?" and
Jim remarked, as he shifted his terbacker and cut a sliver off from his
wooden leg, "I wuz a-thinkin' about a cold spell we had one winter
when we wuz a-livin' down Nantucket way. It wuz hog killin' time, if I
remember right; anyhow, we had a kittle of bilin' water sottin' on the
fire, and we sot it out doors to cool off a little, and that water froze
so durned quick that the ice wuz hot."

Ezra sed, "Guess its 'bout shettin' up time."

Jim Lawson's Hoss Trade

SPEAKIN' of hoss tradin', now Jim Lawson was calculated to be about the
best hoss trader in Punkin Centre. Yes, Jim he could sot up on a fence,
chew terbacker, whittle a stick, and jist about swap ye outen your
eye-teeth, if you'd listen to him.

Yas, Jim wuz some punkins on a swap; Jim 'd swap anything he had fer
anything he didn't want, jist to be swappin'.

Wall, a gypsy cum along one day and tackled Jim fer a swap; and about
that time Jim he'd got hold of a critter that had more cussedness in him
to the squar inch than any critter we'd ever sot eyes on, 'cept a cirkus
mule that Ezra Hoskins owned.

Wall, the gypsy traded Jim a mighty fine lookin' critter, and we all
calculated that Jim had right smart of a bargain, 'til one day Jim went
to ride him, 'n he fo