r brother was the soul of all our parties. This is a trifle,
but my mind to-day seeks for every subject of chagrin.

Let but my Emily be happy, and I will not complain, even if I lose
her: I have a thousand fears, a thousand uneasy reflections: if you
knew her merit, you would not wish to break the attachment.

My sweet Emily is going this morning to Quebec; I have promised to
accompany her, and she now waits for me.

I cannot write: I have a heaviness about my heart, which has never
left me since I read your letter. 'Tis the only disagreable one I ever
received from my dear Lucy: I am not sure I love you so well as before
I saw this letter. There is something unfeeling in the style of it,
which I did not expect from you.

Adieu! your faithful
A. Fermor.

LETTER 147.

To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.

Silleri, May 25.

I am unhappy beyond all words; my sweet Emily is gone to England;
the ship sailed this morning: I am just returned from the beach, after
conducting her on board.

I used every art, every persuasion, in the power of friendship, to
prevent her going till your brother came down; but all I said was in
vain. She told me, she knew too well her own weakness to hazard seeing
him; that she also knew his tenderness, and was resolved to spare him
the struggle between his affection and his duty; that she was
determined never to marry him but with the consent of his mother; that
their meeting at Quebec, situated as they were, could only be the
source of unhappiness to both; that her heart doated on him, but that
she would never be the cause of his acting in a manner unworthy his
character: that she would see his family the moment she got to London,
and then retire to the house of a relation in Berkshire, where she
would wait for his arrival.

That she had given you her promise, which nothing should make her
break, to embark in the first ship for England.

She expressed no fears for herself as to the voyage, but trembled at
the idea of her Rivers's danger.

She sat down several times yesterday to write to him, but her tears
prevented her: she at last assumed courage enough to tell him her
design; but it was in such terms as convinced me she could not have
pursued it, had he been here.

She went to the ship with an appearance of calmness that astonished
me; but the moment she entered, all her resolution forsook her: she
retired with me to her room, where she gave way to all the agony of